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BAKER’S  EDITION 
• OF  PLAYS  38 


MR.  BOB 

Price,  25  Cents 


WALTER  H.  BAKER  COMPANY 


BOSTON 


BbfeAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXAA^ 

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BAKER,  Hamilton  Place, 

Boston,  Mass. 

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i 


MR.  BOB 


% Cornells!  tit  Efoo  Set* 


BY 


RACHEL  E.  BAKER 


Author  of  “The  Chaperon,”  “A  King’s  Daughter,”  “After  Taps, 
“Her  Picture,”  etc. 


As  Originally  Produced  by  the  Proscenium  Club  of  Roxbury 
Mass,,  April  27th,  1894 


BOSTON 


CHARACTERS 


Philip  Royscu. 


i ^^j*obert  Brown,  clerk  of  Benson  and  Benson * 
IT en kins,  Miss  Rebecca’s  butler. 

£VU  Rebecca  Luke,  a maiden  lady, 

J*  ; Katherine  Rogers,  her  niece. 

Marion  Br  ka*’T,  Katherine's  friend 
Patty,  Min  Rebecca's  maid. 


Copyright,  1894,  by  Rachel  E.  Bakek. 


4 


All  rights  reserved - 


jy/32-^ 


*S 


MR.  BOB. 


ACT  I. 


Scene.  — Breakfast-room  at  Tresham ; time,  morning . Entrance 
C.,  opening  upon  piazza ; doors  R.  and  L.  in  flat ; open  fireplace , 
R.  flat,  with  mantel  above  it  ; couch  with  cushion  L. ; table 
down  R.  c.,  laid  for  breakfast . Jenkins  arranging  dishes  upon 
table . 


Miss  Becky  (enters  after  curtain  rises ; looks  off  c.  to  r.). 
There ! It  is  under  the  hydrangea.  Go  at  once,  Jenkins,  and 
bring  in  the  half-starved  little  creature. 

Jenkins  (very  dignified  ; continuing  his  work  at  table').  Excuse 
me,  ma’am ; but  it’s  beneath  the  dignity  of  a butler  to  be  running 
after  cats.  If  it  was  a dog  or  a ’orse,  ma’am ; but  a cat  I objects 
to. 

Miss  B.  (still  looking  off  c.).  Nonsense,  Jenkins!  You  have 
been  too  long  in  my  service  to  make  objections  now. 

Jenk.  (going  towards  c.  back).  But,  I says,  ma’am,  if  it  was 
only  a dog  or  a ’orse  — 

Miss  B.  (coining  down  c.  front) . It  is  neither  a dog  nor  a horse, 
5 so  make  haste,  and  have  no  more  words  about  it. 

Jenk.  (following  Miss  Becky  down).  But,  I says,  ma’am  — 
Miss  B.  That  will  do,  Jenkins. 

Jenk.  (walks  with  dignity  to  door,  C.  ; about  to  exit , turns  back). 
If  it  was  only  a dog  or  a ’orse  — 

Miss  B.  (l.  c.  ; sternly').  Jenkins  ! (Jenkins  exit.)  My  servants 
have  lived  with  me  so  long  they  have  become  quite  independent. 
(Crosses  to  table.)  The  idea  of  Jenkins  objecting  to  anything! 
(Seated  at  table ; takes  up  newspaper.)  I am  so  delighted  with 
my  new  scheme  of  a winter  home  for  the  cats.  The  upper  rooms 
are  to  be  made  into  one,  covered  by  a glass  roof.  I am  expect- 
ing the  architect  this  morning.  His  visit  must  be  unknown  to 
Katherine  and  Philip.  They  object  to  this  humane  idea  of  mine. 
(Reads  paper.) 

(Enter  Patty,  c.l.,  dancing;  holds  in  one  hand  her  skirts  and  a 
tray  upon  which  are  letters,  in  the  other  a book , which  she  is 
reading.  Does  not  see  or  hear  Miss  Becky  ; comes  down  c.) 

3 Miss  B.  (sees  Patty).  Well,  I never!  What  next?  Patty! 
(Patty  still  dances.)  Patty  ! (Same  business ; Miss  Becky  rises, 
takes  Patty  by  the  arm  and  shakes  her.)  Patty ! 

3 


4 


MR.  BOB. 


Patty  (drops  tray  and  endeavors  to  hide  book  behind  her ). 
Lor ! Miss  Becky ! I beg  your  pardon.  (Picks  up  tray  and  letters ; 
gives  them  to  Miss  Becky.  Miss  Becky,  r.  c.  ; Patty,  l.  c.) 

Miss  B.  (taking  letters).  What  book  are  you  reading? 

Pat.  (embarrassed).  It’s  only  a play-book,  ma’am. 

Miss  B.  Give  it  to  me.  (P/tty  gives  it  to  her  reluctantly ; 
Miss  Becky  reads  title.)  “Juliet  Capuletta,  the  Ballet-Dancer.” 
(Tears  book ; looks  at  Patty  sternly.)  The  waste-basket  is  the 
proper  place  for  such  literature.  (Throws  paper  in  basket  by  fire- 
place.) No  more  of  this  nonsense.  You  have  something  else  to 
do  in  the  morning.  This  is  the  result  of  allowing  you  to  go  to  the 
theatre.  It  has  completely  turned  your  head. 

Pat.  I can’t  help  it,  ma’am ; I just  loves  it.  I yearns  to  be  a 
dancer;  to  wear  crinkled  skirts  and  stand  on  my  toes.  (Attempts 
to  stand  upon  toes.) 

Miss  B . (sternly).  Patty!  Stop  such  nonsense  at  once.  (Points 
to  scrap-basket.)  Put  that  basket  in  its  proper  place,  and  tell  Mary 
to  serve  breakfast  at  once. 

Pat.  I flies  to  do  your  bidding.  (Dances  across  stage.) 

Miss  B.  Patty!  (Patty  walks  demurely.)  If  Mr.  Brown  calls 
this  morning,  his  visit  must  be  known  only  to  me.  Communicate 
with  me  at  once ; and  be  sure  that  you  do  not  speak  of  it  to  Miss 
Katherine  or  Mr.  Philip.  (Patty,  r .front.) 

Pat.  Yes,  Miss  Becky.  (Aside ; stands  by  basket ; speaks  dra- 
matically .)  I must  stoop  to  common  things  and  pick  up  baskets. 
(Dances  with  basket  to  door  c.  against  Katherine,  who  enters, 
reading  a letter;  Miss  Becky  seated  again  at  table  at  c.,  facing 
audience. ) 

Katherine.  What  are  you  trying  to  do?  Demolish  me? 

Pat.  (bows  profoundly).  Lor!  Miss  Katherine.  I begs  your 
pardon.  I didn’t  see  nothing. 

Kath.  (laughing).  “Nothing”  — that  is  flattering.  The  next 
time  look  out  for  something , and  perhaps  you  will  see  it.  (Patty 
exit.)  Auntie,  your  once  demure  little  Patty  will  blossom  into  a 
full-fledged  actress  before  we  know  it. 

Miss  B.  Not  if  I can  help  it. 

Kath.  (embraces  Miss  Becky).  I have  such  good  news.  Bob 
comes  to-day. 

Miss  B.  Dear  me,  child!  I can’t  breathe.  Your  friend  is  com- 
ing? I am  very  glad.  But  the  idea  of  calling  a young  lady  Bob.  It 
is  not  very  dignified. 

Kath.  It  suits  her  perfectly.  Marion  is  too  sedate.  (Sits  at 
L.  of  table ; Miss  Becky  sits,  facing  audience.) 

(Enter  Jenkins  with  covered  basket,  which  he  holds  at  arm's 
length ; wipes  his  forehead. ) 

Jenk.  (l.  front).  For  a cat  as  must  be  hungry,  he  ain’t  very 
thankful.  He  and  me  ran  a race,  ma’am  ; and  I must  say  as  ’ow  it 
was  ’ot. 


MR,  BOBo  5 

Miss  B.  Give  the  creature  something  to  eat,  and  serve  breakfast 
at  once. 

Jenk.  I objects,  ma’am.  As  I says,  if  it  was  a dog  or  a ’orse — 

Miss  B.  (rises).  That  will  do.  And,  Jenkins  (Jenkins  comes 
down  stage  with  Miss  Becky),  if  Mr.  Brown  should  call  let  me 
know  immediately.  Do  not  speak  of  his  visit  to  any  one  else.  Do 
you  understand  ? 

Jenk.  I do,  Miss  Becky.  (Exit  with  basket  at  back.) 

Kath.  (at  table).  I do  believe,  Aunt  Becky,  that  you  would 
turn  this  house  into  an  asylum  for  cats  were  it  not  for  Philip. 

Miss  B.  I certainly  should.  Just  as  much  sense  for  me  to  be 
interested  in  a worthy  charity,  as  for  Philip  to  risk  his  life  in  a boat 
which  half  the  time  has  its  keel  out  of  water. 

Kath.  That  is  where  the  fun  comes  in.  All  the  more  exciting 
when  there  is  danger. 

Miss  B.  Philip  would  be  wiser  to  devote  his  spare  time  to  the 
study  of  medicine. 

Kath.  A man  must  have  some  fun.  And  that  reminds  me. 
Philip  has  never  seen  Bob.  (Rises.)  Calls  her  “Mr.  Bob,”  and 
thinks  that  she  is  a man.  I won’t  undeceive  him,  and  we’ll  have 
some  fun. 

Miss  B.  Have  a care,  Katherine.  No  good  ever  comes  of  de- 
ception. (Philip  heard  whistling ; Miss  Becky  resumes  seat  at 
C.,  by  table.) 

Kath.  (runs  to  door , c.).  Mum’s  the  word,  auntie.  Here  comes 
Philip  now. 

(Enter  Philip.  He  wears  white  duck  trousers , blue  coat , and 
yachting-cap  j flowers  in  hand.) 

Philip.  Good-morning,  Aunt  Becky.  (Places  rose  at  her 
plate.)  A bit  of  the  morning’s  freshness,  with  my  compliments. 
(Turns  to  Katherine.)  The  same  to  you,  my  fair  cousin.  (Pre- 
sents rose  with  mock  courtesy.)  Thus  do  we  bow  in  homage  to 
your  superior  beauty. 

Kath.  (takes  rose).  The  morning’s  freshness  does  not  seem  to 
have  confined  itself  to  the  roses.  In  return  for  such  gallantry  here 
are  your  letters. 

Phil,  (takes  letters).  Thanks.  (Seated  opposite  Katherine 
at  table.  Jenkins  enters  with  coffee  on  tray.  Miss  Becky  pours ; 
Jenkins  serves , then  exit.) 

Phil,  (reading  froin  letter).  Here  is  something  from  your  law- 
yers, Benson  & Benson. 

Miss  B.  Have  they  found  the  will? 

Phil.  The  missing  codicil  is  not  amongst  the  papers.  Unless 
we  can  present  it,  a large  portion  of  your  mother’s  money  will  be 
used  to  found  some  charitable  institution. 

Miss  B.  What  injustice ! I would  use  it  to  establish  a home  for 
destitute  cats. 

Phil,  (laughs).  When  I commence  practice  and  a season  of 


6 


MR.  BOJbo 


long  and  weary  waiting,  I shall  need  all  your  spare  change.  Don’t 
give  it  to  cats. 

Miss  B.  Just  as  much  sense  as  for  you  to  spend  your  time  and 
money  on  a boat. 

Phil.  Suppose  we  strike  a bargain.  You  give  up  the  cats  and 
I will  give  up  the  boats.  ( Offers  hand.)  Shake  upon  it. 

Miss  B.  We  will  think  about  it  first. 

(Patty  runs  on  l.,  laughing  ; comes  down  affront.) 


Pat.  There  is  trouble  in  the  kitchen,  Miss  Becky.  Thunder, 
the  black  cat,  fell  into  the  barrel  of  flour,  and  he’s  so  surprised  to 
find  himself  white,  he’s  a-taking  on  terribly.  (Philip  and  Kath- 
erine laugh.) 

Miss  B.  (rises).  If  this  work  keeps  on  much  longer,  this  will  be 
an  asylum  for  lunatics.  (Patty  is  laughing ; tries  to  resume  dig- 
nity when  Miss  Becky  looks  at  her ; exeunt  Miss  Becky  and 
Patty.) 

Phil.  This  fad  of  Aunt  Becky’s  is  perfect  nonsense.  I must 
find  some  way  to  stop  it. 

Kath.  (stands  behind  Philip;  holds  a letter  in  front  of  him) . 
Put  on  your  glasses  and  your  thinking-cap.  Who  wrote  this  letter? 

Phil.  Haven't  an  idea.  One  of  your  many  admirers,  I suppose. 

Kath.  Oh,  come,  do  guess  ! 

Phil.  Jack  Reynolds? 

Kath.  No;  guess  again. 

Phil.  Mr.  Bob? 

Kath.  Yes.  And  just  think  of  it,  Philip,  Bob  really  comes  to- 
day. 

Phil,  (starts  to  rise ; Katherine  detams  him).  Oh,  he  does. 
Then  I shall  depart. 

Kath.  Certainly  not.  I wish  you  to  meet  my  friend. 

Oh,  I know  enough  men  already. 

But  not  many  like  Bob. 

What  sort  of  a chap  is  this  manly  ideal  ? (Lights  ciga* 


Phil. 
Kath. 
Phil. 
rette.) 
Kath. 
Phil. 
Kath. 
Phil. 
Kath. 
Phil. 
Kath. 
door  l.) 


Just  fine. 

Any  sand  ? 

No  end. 

Can  he  sail  a boat? 

Like  an  ancient  mariner. 

Fond  of  smoking? 

Enjoys  the  odor  of  a good  cigar  immensely.  (Opens 
This  is  to  be  Bob’s  room.  Do  help  make  it  cosey. 
Bring  down  some  of  your  treasures  — that’s  a dear  ! 

Phil,  (rises).  All  right.  I suppose  I must  play  the  agreeable. 
What  time  does  Mr.  Bob  arrive? 

Kath.  Some  time  this  morning.  I must  leave  you,  as  I have 
letters  to  write.  Don’t  forget  your  promise.  (Exit.) 

Phil.  Ha ! Pleasant  business  this,  entertaining  one  of  Kitty’s? 


MR.  BOB.  J 

admirers.  Hell  want  cigars,  of  course.  Gad  ! He  shall  have  the 
best  the  house  affords.  ( Exit .) 

(Enter  Jenkins  r.,  with  empty  tray  ; removes  dishes  frotn  table.) 

Jenk.  There  are  some  things  beneath  the  dignity  of  a Jenkins. 
There  ain’t  no  objections  to  a-feeding  of  a dog  or  a driving  of  a 
’orse,  but  when  it  comes  to  cats,  the  spirit,  — and  if  I do  say  it,  it’s 
true, — the  noble  spirit  of  a Jenkins  objects.  ( Changes  cloth  for 
dark  cover.) 

( Enter  Patty  r.  ; dances  down  stage  to  Jenkins/  takes  him  by  ear 
and  leads  him  down  front.) 

Pat.  Menial,  I would  a word  with  thee.  (Jenkins  r.  c.  ; Patty 

L.  C.) 

Jenk.  Patty,  there  is  an  abruptness  about  your  behavior  which 
is  very  jarring  to  my  nerves.  I objects  to  such  treatment. 

Pat.  Oh,  nonsense!  You  are  always  objecting.  You’ve  no 
soul  for  dramatic  art. 

Jenk.  (with  sentiment).  No,  Patty.  (Places  hand  upon  heart.) 
But  I’ve  an  ’eart  that  beats  for  you.  My  eyelids  flutter  when  my 
eyes  catches  sight  of  you.  (Goes  toward  Patty  with  arms  out- 
stretched ; Patty  avoids  them  by  going  under .) 

Pat.  Well,  how  about  your  head?  Do  you  think  that  could 
catch  anything?  — an  idea? 

Jenk.  (with  dignity).  Some  day  you  will  be  sorry  you  scorned 
the  noble  love  of  a Jenkins.  (Residues  work  at  table.) 

Pat.  Who  said  anything  about  scorning  your  noble  love.  I 
didn’t.  (Holds  up  paper .)  Do  you  see  that  ? 

Jenk.  {with  injured  dignity).  Yes. 

Pat.  That  is  a paper  what  says  that  we  and  the  cats  is  done. 
We  agrees  to  give  warning,  if  another  one  walks  into  this  house. 
Now,  that  cat  this  morning  — 

Jenk.  Excuse  me,  it  did  not  walk  into  the  ’ouse ; I brought  it 
in.  Who’s  “we,”  Patty? 

Pat.  (counts  upon  fingers).  There’s  me  and  the  cook;  then 
there’s  cook  and  James : that’s  four,  and  you  is  the  last.  We 
wants  you  to  sign  this  paper. 

Jenk.  No,  Patty;  I objects.  There’s  no  hafflnity  between  me 
and  the  cats,  but  I have  lived  too  long  with  Miss  Becky  to  ’urt  he* 
tender  feelings. 

Pat.  Very  well,  Mr.  Jenkins,  of  noble  and  dignified  blood  • 
very  well,  I say.  You  can  choose  between  me  and  Miss  Becky. 

Jenk.  Patty,  you  know  my  ’eart  beats  beneath  this  breast. 
(Takes  tray  and  walks  to  door , R. ; turns  and  speaks  at  entrance.)  1 
never  thought  as  ’ow  you  would  let  cats  come  between  us.  (Exit.) 

Pat.  I’ll  give  him  one  more  day  to  sign  that  paper.  If  I don’t 
make  him  sorry,  mv  name  ain’t  Patty.  (Dances  about  stage  ; dance* 
while  Phu.jp  makes  his  entrance-) 


MR.  BOb. 


( Enter  Philip,  C. ; has  two  or  three  tennis-caps  on  head , boxing * 

gloves  and  tennis-rackets  over  shoulder,  holds  a tray  upon  which 

are  pipes  and  cigars .) 

Phil.  Come  here,  you  will-o’-the-wisp,  and  help  me.  (Patty 
takes  tray  from  him.)  Open  that  door  and  let  me  throw  this  hos- 
pitality in.  (Patty  opens  door  l.  ; Philip  throws  in  tenms-rackets 
and  boxing-gloves .)  It  won’t  do  to  throw  in  the  pipes,  I suppose. 
(Exit  with  tray.) 

Pat.  What’s  the  matter  with  Mr.  Philip?  (Laughs.)  Perhaps 
the  cats  have  moved  into  his  room.  He’ll  be  wanting  to  sign  our 
paper  next.  ( Exit  R.,  dancing  and  laughing.) 

(Enter  Katherine,  c.) 

Kath.  I wonder  how  Philip  is  getting  on  ? (Looks  in  door  L. ; 
laughs.)  What  a picture ! A perfect  bower  of  pipes  and  tennis* 
rackets.  It  only  needs  the  stale  odor  of  cigar  smoke  to  make  it  a 
genuine  college  room.  (Calls.)  Busy,  Philip? 

(Enter  Philip,  wiping  face  with  handkerchief.) 

Phil.  Do  I look  as  though  I had  been  idle? 

Kath.  You  look  decidedly  warm.  You  are  just  a dear  to  make 
the  room  so  cosey ! 

Phil.  Glad  you  like  it.  (Looks  at  watch.)  Mr.  Bob  ought  to 
be  here  soon.  How  shall  I meet  him,  anyway  ? 

Kath.  Heartily,  of  course. 

Phil.  Shall  I knock  upon  his  door  as  we  do  at  college,  and  say, 
“ Hallo,  old  man  ! how  are  you?” 

Kath.  Capital ! Couldn’t  be  better. 

Phil.  Well,  I’m  off  to  my  den.  I can’t  neglect  medicine,  even 
for  dear  Mr.  Bob.  You  will  see  me  soon  enough.  (Exit  c.) 

Kath.  (comes  to  c.,  laughing).  What  fun!  Dear  old  fellow! 
If  I did  not  know  that  he  has  more  than  a generous  share  of  good- 
nature, I should  never  dare  attempt  it. 

(Enter  Miss  Becky  with  workbasket ; sits  by  table.) 

Miss  B.  There,  I do  believe  we  shall  have  peace  for  a few 
hours  at  least ! The  mighty  dollar  has  appeased  Mary’s  wrath,  and 
everything  will  be  serene  until  the  next  cat  arrives. 

Kath.  Rather  expensive  hospitality,  Aunt  Becky.  (At  door , 
C.)  It  is  just  a perfect  day.  The  sun  is  sparkling  upon  the  river, 
and  the  yachts  sway  to  and  fro  at  their  moorings,  as  though  impatient 
for  the  race.  Philip’s  boat  is  sure  to  win. 

Miss  B.  I have  a feeling  that  Philip  will  be  drowned  in  that 
boat  some  day. 

Kath.  Nonsense!  I never  dream  of  such  a thing.  And  you 
know  Philip  can  swim  like  a fish.  A carriage  is  coming.  I do  be- 
lieve it  is  Boh  Yes  ; there  is  old  Skipper  Rawson  bowing  to  her. 


MR.  BOB.  9 

Just  think  of  it,  Aunt  Becky,  it  is  a whole  year  since  we  have  seen 
one  another  ! 

Miss  B.  Well,  I am  glad  for  your  sake.  Don’t  cut  up  too  many 
pranks.  A houseful  of  mischief-making  girls  and  deserted  cats 
would  be  too  much  chaos  for  an  old  lady. 

Kath.  Here  she  is. 

{Enter  Marion.  Conies  down  c.,  followed  by  Jenkins,  who  carries, 
bag  and  wraps  j the  girls  meet  and  embraced) 

Kath.  Bob ! 

Marion.  Kitty  ! (Jenkins  at  l.  c.  back.) 

Miss  B.  (at  l.  c.,  embracing  Marion,  c.).  You  are  very  wel- 
come, my  dear. 

Mar.  Thank  you,  Miss  Becky.  It  is  delightful  to  see  you 
again. 

Kath.  Jenkins,  take  Miss  Bryant’s  wraps  into  her  room. 

Jenk.  ( crosses  to  door , l.  ; looks  in).  You  mean  this  room,  Miss 
Katherine?  (Jenkins  at  l.  ; Katherine,  l.  c. ; Marion,  c. ; 
Aunt  Becky,  r.  c.) 

Kath.  (talking  with  Marion).  Certainly.  (Jenkins  exit,  l., 
shaking  head.)  You  must  be  very  tired. 

Mar.  Just  dead. 

Miss  B.  And  hungry,  of  course  ? 

Mar.  (laughing) . As  a bear.  (Jenkins  enters  from  l.). 

Miss  B.  Jenkins,  bring  Miss  Bryant  a luncheon  as  soon  as  pos- 
sible. 

Jenk.  Yes,  Miss  Becky.  (Exit  at  r.) 

Miss  B.  I think  I will  attend  to  it  myself;  and  that  reminds 
me,  Katherine,  I have  an  errand  which  I had  forgotten.  I will  re- 
turn presently. 

Kath.  Very  well,  auntie  ; I will  take  care  of  Bob.  (Miss  Becky 
exit ; girls  seated  upon  couch.)  You  are  just  a treasure  to  come  in 
time  for  the  race ! We  will  have  no  end  of  jolly  larks. 

Mar.  That  will  suit  me  perfectly.  I haven’t  had  one  since 
our  college  days,  and  I am  just  pining  for  some  fun. 

Kath.  (mysteriously).  Then  you  need  pine  no  more.  The  su- 
preme moment  is  at  hand. 

Mar.  How  mysterious  you  are  ! What  is  it? 

Kath.  You  know  my  Cousin  Philip  ? 

Mar.  Never  met  him.  Just  dying  for  the  pleasure. 

Kath.  Then  you  will  be  saved  from  an  early  death.  He  is  in 
this  very  house. 

Mar.  I know  that  I must  look  like  a perfect  fright.  Let  me 
escape.  (Makes  for  door , c.) 

Kath.  (follows  and  brings  her  back).  Nonsense,  my  dear  ! He 
is  safe  in  his  den  at  present,  studying.  He  thinks  that  my  friend 
Bob  is  a man.  Calls  you  my  “ manly  ideal,”  and  has  nicknamed 
you  “ Mr.  Bob.” 


MR.  BOB* 


to 

Mar.  Then  he  thinks  that  I am  a man  ? 

Kath.  {girls  laugh  heartily  through  the  dialogue . Marion,  B 
c. ; Katherine,  l.  c.).  Yes. 

Mar.  What  sport ! How  have  you  arranged  it? 

Kath.  ( leads  her  to  door,  L.).  “ Dost  like  the  picture  ?” 

Mar.  (at  l.  c.  ; Katherine  at  r.  c.)  . What  an  array  of  pipes 
and  tennis-rackets  ! I don’t  understand. 

Kath.  I asked  him  to  make  your  room  cosey  with  some  of  his 
treasures,  and  that  is  the  result. 

Mar.  What  a schemer  you  are,  Kitty ! 

Kath.  He  is  to  treat  you  in  an  off-hand  manner ; knock  upon 
your  door  as  they  do  at  college,  and  say  (imitates  man's  voice), 
“ Hallo,  old  man  ! how  are  you  ? ” 

Mar.  I shall  be  speechless  with  laughter  . (Noise.) 

Kath.  (at  door,  c.).  He  is  coming  now. 

Mar.  Then  I will  fly,  and  be  ready  for  the  fray.  (Exit,  laugh • 
ing.) 

Kath.  The  plot  thickens.  My  little  boat  is  surely  launched.  L 
hope  it  won’t  be  capsized.  (At  L.  c.) 

(Enter  Philip,  c.)„ 

Philip.  Hallo  ! You  here  ? 

Kath.  Yes  ; Bob  has  arrived. 

Phil.  Oh,  he  has!  That  accounts  for  your  radiant  face,  fl 
say,  Kitty,  make  a bold  confession;  do  you  love  this  Mr.Bob  ? 

Kath.  Dearly. 

Phil.  Well,  I hope  he  is  worthy  of  you.  I shall  view  him  with 
a critic’s  eye.  He  had  better  be  upon  his  good  behavior.  That 
reminds  me.  I had  a letter  from  my  old  college  chum,  Ned  Saun* 
ders.  He  may  appear  at  any  time  ; and  if  I should  be  out  when  he 
arrives,  just  make  him  at  home.  A fine  fellow ; I know  you  will 
like  him. 

Kath.  You  may  be  sure,  Philip,  your  friends  will  always  be 
welcome. 

Phil.  (r.  c.  ; Katherine,  l.  c.).  Thanks.  I will  treat  Mr.  Bob 
well ; don’t  you  worry.  (Laughing.)  And  if  you  should  be  in 
need  of  a topic  of  conversation,  just  ask  Saunders  to  tell  you  about 
a little  flirtation  of  mine  while  at  college. 

Katii.  I shall  find  out  all  your  secrets.  I must  make  one  final 
search  for  the  missing  papers,  and  will  leave  Bob  in  your  care. 
(Exit  R.) 

Phil,  (at  R. ; gradually  crosses  to  L.).  I don’t  much  care  for 
this  sort  of  business.  Playing  the  agreeable  to  a strange  man.  I 
suppose  he  is  six  feet  two,  has  the  strength  of  a giant,  and  the 
voice  of  an  orator.  Must  be,  for  such  a fine  girl  as  Kitty  to  be  in 
love  with  him.  (Goes  to  door , turtis , and  comes  dow?i  stage  again.) 
Haven’t  as  much  sand  as  I had  once.  It’s  Kitty’s  friend,  and  she 
loves  him.  (Crosses  to  door , L.)  Perhaps  I had  better  knock. 


MR.  BOB, 


I i 

It  wouldn’t  be  quite  so  abrupt.  No;  he  is  such  a hearty  fellow 
himself,  I will  be  cordial.  (Pounds  upon  door ; speaks.)  **  Hallo, 
old  man  ! how  are  you?  ” (No  response.)  I wonder  if  he  is  deaf? 
Perhaps  he  is  taking  a nap.  (Delighted.)  By  Jove!  happy 
thought ! It  would  be  a pity  to  disturb  him.  I will  tell  that  to 
Kitty.  (Thinks  a moment.)  Now,  I am  not  sure  he  is  asleep. 
Kitty  will  say  I wanted  to  crawl.  I hope  Mr.  Bob  won't  find  those 
cigars  too  strong  for  him.  It  was  rather  expensive  hospitality  I 
showered  upon  him ; but  it  was  all  for  love  of  Kitty.  (Repeats 
business  of  knocking  at  door.) 

Mar.  Did  any  one  speak  ? 

Phil,  (staggers  back).  For  heaven’s  sake  ! What  a voice  for  a 
man  ! He’s  effeminate,  I know.  And  Kitty  calls  him  Bob  ! Flos- 
sie would  he  a better  name  for  him.  (Starts  for  door.)  No ; I 
can’t  meet  the  owner  of  that  voice,  and  treat  him  well.  I will 
make  some  excuse  to  Kitty,  and  be  formally  introduced.  He  must 
have  weak  lungs.  That  bottle  of  emulsion  in  my  room  will  suit 
his  case  exactly.  Gad,  he  shall  have  it!  (Rushes  out  of  door>  C.) 

(Enter  Patty,  l.,  with  valise.) 

Pat.  Won’t  this  bag  be  just  beautiful  for  my  wardrobes  when  I 
goes  on  the  stage?  (Sighs.)  But,  dear  me,  that  is  such  a long 
off!  I wonder  what  I can  do  with  it  while  I am  waitings 

(Marion  opens  door  cautiously ; looks  out.) 

Mar.  No  one  here. 

Pat.  (aside).  Well,  I likes  that,  and  me  as  hopes  to  be  in  the 
pallet  some  day.  (To  Marion.)  I hopes  I’m  somebody,  ma’am. 

Mar.  (enters  laughing).  Oh,  I meant  a young  man. 

Pat.  Do  you  mean  Mr.  Philip?  I met  him  on  the  stairs.  He 
was  running  like  mad.  Somebody  must  have  given  him  an  awful 
jfF’ght. 

Mar.  (c.).  I think  very  likely.  Where  is  Miss  Katherine? 

Pat.  (l.).  In  the  turret  room.  And  she  said  for  me  to  tell  you 
to  come  up  there.  She’s  busy  a-hunting  for  papers. 

Mar.  All  right.  I know  where  to  find  her.  (Aside.)  It  must 
have  been  my  voice  which  frightened  the  young  man.  He  will 
*hink  that  “ Mr.  Bob  ” is  a weak  specimen  of  humanity.  (Exit  C., 
laughing.) 

Pat.  Ain’t  she  just  a beauty ! My  eyes  ! Wouldn’t  she  make  a 
good  dancer.  (Looks  at  bag.)  I might  give  this  bag  to  Jenkins, 
but  then  he  is  so  mean  about  signing  that  paper,  he  don’t  deserve 
ai  thing.  I’d  like  to  play  some  joke  on  him.  (Sits  upon  couch.) 
Let  me  see.  I know,  I’ll  put  two  of  the  blackest  cats  into  this,  and 
make  him  a present  of  them.  (Takes  penknife  fro?n  table  and  cuts 
holes  in  bag.)  That  will  keep  the  beauties  from  smothering.  Won’t 
Jenkms  be  cxa?.y0  Hell  wish  he  had  signed  that  paper.  When  I 


12 


MR.  BOB. 


gets  into  the  ballet,  I won’t  be  carrying  bags  like  this.  No,  in- 
deed ! ( Walks  to  back  of  stage  ; stands  at  side  of  door  c. ; assumes 

commanding  air  and  holds  out  bag.  Mr.  Brown,  a very  modest 
and  retirmg  young  manr  with  weak  voice , appears  at  door  c.)  1 

shall  say,  “ Jenkins,  take  my  bag.”  (Brown  is  very  much  aston- 
ished.) Do  you  hear?  Take  my  bag. 

Brown  (r.  c.  ; takes  bag).  Certainly.  I came  down  — (Patty 
screams , and  Brown  drops  bag.) 

Pat.  (l.  c. ; discovers  Brown;  makes  low  courtesy).  I begs 
your  pardon,  sir,  I was  only  acting.  ( Picks  up  bag.) 

Br.  Is  Miss  Luke  at  home? 

Pat.  {aside).  My  eyes  ! Ain't  he  a stunner.  He  must  be  a 
duke.  {Bows  profoundly.)  Enter,  my  lord  ; she  is. 

;>*Br.  {enters).  Will  you  kindly  tell  her  that  Mr.  Brown  would 
like  to  see  her? 

Pat.  {drops  bag,  rushes  to  Brown,  and  catches  him  by  arm). 
Sh !.  sh ! 

Br.  What  is  the  matter  ? 

Pat.  {with  finger  on  lip , tip-toes  to  the  different  doors,  listens, 
then  returns  to  Brown).  You  must  not  breathe  your  name  here. 

“Br.  {nervously).  Why  not  ? Anything  wrong  about  my  name? 

Pat.  Oh,  no,  sir.  Only  Miss  Becky  said  as  how  when  you 
came  we  was  to  keep  it  dark. 

-Br.  Well,  I must  say  that  if  she  instructed  you  to  keep  me  in 
the  dark  as  well,  you  have  succeeded  beautifully. 

Pat.  I won’t  be  a minute,  sir,  and  if  any  one  happens  in  while 
I am  gone,  you  just  keep  mum  about  your  name.  {Exit  c.,  with 
finger  on  lips  ; takes  bag. ) 

Br.  {looking  after  her).  What  a strange-acting  creature. 
{Nervously.)  I hope  she  isn’t  crazy.  Now,  why  shouldn’t  I 
breathe  the  name  of  Brown,  if  I wish  to.  Nothing  out  about 
Brown.  Deuced  queer ! {Looks  about  room  and  out  of  door  c.) 
There,  she  has  gone  without  my  card.  {Reads  from  card.)  “ Mr. 
Robert  Brown,  with  Benson  & Benson,  Solicitors.”  That  sounds 
all  right.  Perfectly  legitimate  business.  {Takes  j)aper  from 
pocket.)  The  missing  codicil.  {Replaces  paper  in  pocket.) 
Nothing  to  keep  dark  about.  This  is  such  a quiet,  lovely  spot, 
away  from  the  seething  whirl  of  the  city.  I should  like  to  rest  my 
weary  head  here  for  a few  days. 

{Enter  Jenkins,  l.) 

^ Br.  (l.  c.  ; aside).  Perhaps  I can  succeed  better  with  this 
servant.  You  see,  I came  down  to  see  Miss  Luke.  Will  you 
please  give  her  this  card  ? I am  Mr.  Brown. 

Jenk.  Sh  ! Sh  ! Don’t  breathe  the  name  of  Brown  here. 

^ vBr.  (aside).  Here  is  another  lunatic.  {Takes  Jenkins  by  arm 
and  brings  him  down  front.)  Sh  ! Why  not? 

Jenk.  (repeats  Patty’s  business  of  listening  at  doors.  Brown 
follows  Jenkins  about , Jenkins  grasps  Brown’s  arm  and  brings 


MR*  BOB.  13 

him  dow7i  front ; Brown  drops  umbrella  j Jenkins  picks  it  up). 
You  are  expected,  sir;  but  we  must  keep  it  dark. 

ABr.  More  darkness.  I shall  be  a total  eclipse. 

Jenk.  Miss  Luke  has  stepped  out,  sir,  but  will  be  back  directly. 
If  any  one  comes  in,  will  you  please  say  as  ’ow  your  name  ain’t 
Brown  ? 

^^Br.  No,  sir.  I object.  If  you  are  ashamed  of  the  name  of 
Brown,  I am  not. 

Jenk.  Oh,  it  isn’t  that,  sir.  Miss  Luke  has  arranged  it  all. 
tBr.  Oh,  she  has.  Please  give  her  my  compliments  and  tell  her 
I am  much  obliged. 

Jenk.  Please  make  yourself  at  ’ome,  sir.  (. Places  finger  on 
lips.)  Sh  ! ( Exit  c.) 

JJ^Br.  This  is  the  most  peculiar  spot  I have  ever  visited.  There 
seems  to  be  such  an  aversion  to  the  name  of  Brown.  I wonder 
why.  ( Crosses  to  mantel  j looks  at  several  photographs.) 

( E 71  ter  Philip,  c.,  with  bottle  of  medicine.) 

Phil.  ( sees  Brown).  That  must  be  Mr.  Bob  now.  I’ll  do 
him  up  in  fine  style.  ( Crosses  to  Brown;  slaps  him  upon 
shoulder.)  How  are  you,  old  man  ? 

^ Br.  ( astonished , drops  photographs) . Oh,  how  d’ye  do.  (Busi- 
ness of  Brown  and  Philip  picking  up  pictures.) 

Phil.  I beg  your  pardon.  I did  not  mean  to  be  so  abrupt. 
(Grasps  his  hand ; shakes  it  violently.)  So  glad  to  see  you. 

^-Br.  Thank  you.  I came  down  — 

Phil.  Oh,  yes ! I know  all  about  it.  Came  down  to  see  Kitty. 
(Slaps  him  up  oh  back.)  Ha,  ha ! I know  all  about  your  flirtation, 
Mr.  Bob. 

-*Br.  (astonished).  “Mr.  Bob!” 

Phil.  Yes,  yes ; sit  down  and  tell  me  all  about  it.  (Pushes 
Bkown  into  chair.) 

t^Br.  (rises;  puts  hand  in  pocket).  Yes;  but,  you  see,  I came 
down  — 

Phil,  (pushes  him  down  again).  Yes,  yes;  I understand. 
^*Br.  (aside).  It’s  deuced  queer.  I don’t. 

Phil.  Kitty  has  told  me  all  about  you.  You  are  a lucky  man. 
She  is  very  fond  of  you. 

JSsJBr.  (rises).  Fond  of  me  ? 

Phil.  Yes ; and  you  are  in  love  with  her,  I fancy. 

' ‘"Br.  (astonished).  Oh,  yes  — yes  — 

Phil.  Heavens,  man!  You  are,  of  course  ? (Aside.)  I wonder 
if  I have  put  my  foot  in  it  ? 

^aBr.  You  see,  I came  down  — 

(Enter  Jenkins  with  tray.) 

Phil.  What  are  you  doing  with  that.  Jenkins? 

Jenk,  I am  taking  it  to  that  room,  sir.  (Crosses  to  door , L.) 


14 


MR.  BOB. 


Phil.  It  is  not  necessary.  The  young  man  is  here. 

Jenk.  This  is  for  Miss  Katherine’s  guest. 

Phil.  Don’t  you  suppose  I know  it  ? You  may  serve  it  here. 
(Jenkins  places  tray  upon  table .) 

Jenk.  But,  Miss  Katherine  — 

Phil.  That  will  do,  Jenkins.  I understand  what  I am  doing 
perfectly. 

Jenk.  Yes,  sir.  ( Catches  Brown’s  eye  ; places  finger  upon 
lips  ; exit  L.,  laughing .) 

Phil.  Here  is  your  luncheon.  Sit  down  and  enjoy  it.  By  the 
way,  I am  something  of  a physician,  and  feel  very  much  interested 
in  the  condition  of  your  health.  (. Listens  to  Brown’s  breathing 
with  a stethoscoped) 

Br.  Only  fancy  ! He  thinks  I’m  a phonographer. 

Phil.  ( taps  back  of  lung ; Brown  very  much  astonished). 
Slight  congestion.  I have  an  excellent  remedy  for  just  your  sym- 
toms.  ( Takes  spoon  from  tray  ; pours  medicine  into  it.)  Excuse 
my  familiarity,  but  it  is  all  for  Kitty’s  sake,  my  dear  boy.  {Aside.) 
He  is  the  weakest  specimen  of  a manly  ideal  that  I have  met  yet. 

"Br.  But,  my  dear  sir,  I don’t  understand.  You  see,  I came 
down  — 

Phil.  Of  course,  — to  see  Kitty.  Now  take  this  to  please 
Kitty 

Br  (aside).  Who  the  devil  is  Kitty?  (Aloud.)  Must  I take  it 
all  a*  once? 

P*ul.  Yes.  Think  of  the  pleasure  of  being  with  Kitty,  and 
you  won’t  mind  it  a bit. 

— P>R.  (aside).  This  man  must  be  crazy.  Suppose  I had  better 
humor  him. 

Phil.  Now,  then,  down  with  it  — one,  two,  three. 

Br.  (takes  medicine ; makes  wry  face).  This  isn’t  such  a quiet 
place  after  all. 

Phil.  Now,  you  can  enjoy  your  luncheon.  (Brown  eats.)  You 
have  arrived  just  in  time  ; the  yacht  race  comes  off  this  afternoon. 
Kitty  tells  me  that  you  know  all  about  a boat.  I shall  be  delighted 
to  avail  myself  of  your  assistance. 

P*Br.  (stops  eating).  Yacht  race! 

Phil.  Yes  ; a fresh  wind  is  blowing.  It  will  be  fine.  (Goes  to 
door , c.) 

~*Br.  (rises ; aside).  I can’t  stay  in  a boat ; it  makes  me  frightfully 
ill.  It  annoys  me  to  ride  in  the  swan  boats  in  the  park.  I must  get 
out  of  this.  (Aloud;  speaks  emphatically .)  My  dear  sir,  you  see 
I came  down  — 

(Jenkins  enters , takes  tray  from  table;  exit , eying  Brown.) 

Phil,  (at  c.,  back).  Yes,  yes  ; I understand.  (Brown  endeavors 
to  speak  through  this  speech.)  Come  out  and  try  it  a little.  I tell 
you  what.  1 will  go  down  and  get  everything  ready,  and  you  wait 
*nd  see  Kitty.  I will  send  Jenkins  for  you.  Did  you  find  the 


MR.  BOB.  15 

cigars  all  right  in  your  room?  Plenty  of  them.  Help  yourself,  my 
,dear  fellow.  (Exit.) 

^Br.  ( stands  looking  after  him).  That  man  will  have  me  sea- 
sick in  five  minutes.  I grow  pale  at  the  sight  of  the  water.  No, 
no;  I must  object,  decidedly.  Who  is  Kitty?  Evidently,  I am 
expected  to  be  madly  in  love  with  her.  Who  am  I anyway? 
“ Mr.  Bob,”  Kitty’s  friend.  It  is  mighty  queer,  when  I came 
down  — 

{Enter  Marion,  c.) 

Mar.  (r.  c.  ; Brown,  l.  c.  Sees  Brown;  aside).  There  is  Mr. 
Philip  now.  {Aloud;  laughs.)  I am  afraid  I enjoyed  that  little 
joke  more  than  you  did,  Mr.  Royson.  My  voice  seemed  to 
frighten  you. 

-^Br.  {aside).  Mr.  Royson!  This  must  be  Kitty.  She  is  fond 
of  me.  I will  smile  upon  her.  {Smiles ; aloud.)  You  see  1 came 
down  — 

Mar.  Yes ; I know.  Interested  in  the  race.  Kitty  has  told 
*4pe  what  a fine  yachtsman  you  are. 

Br.  {aside).  Then  this  isn’t  Kitty.  I won’t  smile.  {Aloud.) 
Kitty  — oh,  yes  ! 

Mar.  I am  just  wild  to  see  the  race.  You  will  win,  of  course. 
Br.  Oh,  yes,  of  course ! {Aside.)  And  I thought  this  such  a 
quiet  place ! 

{Enter  Katherine.) 

Kath.  Making  friends  with  Philip?  {Sees  Brown.)  Why, 
this  must  be  Philip’s  friend,  Mr.  Saunders.  {Business  of  shaking 
hands.) 

Br.  {aside).  “ Mr.  Saunders  !” 

Mar.  {confused).  I beg  your  pardon.  I thought  that  I was 
speaking  to  Mr.  Royson. 

•^»Br.  {aside).  “Mr.  Saunders!”  This  is  pleasant.  It  will  be 
Mr.  President  next. 

Kath.  Philip  told  me  that  you  might  appear  at  any  moment. 
Miss  Bryant,  let  me  introduce  Philip’s  friend,  Mr.  Saunders.  Of 
course  you  must  be  very  hungry.  The  journey  from  town  is  so 
tiresome.  You  have  arrived  just  in  time  to  have  luncheon  with 
Miss  Bryant. 

*Br.  Oh,  no!  Don’t  trouble.  You  see,  I came  down  — 

Kath.  For  the  yacht  race.  It  will  be  just  glorious. 

{Enter  Jenkins,  r.) 

Kath.  You  may  serve  luncheon  for  two,  Jenkins. 

Jenk.  {at  l.  c. ; Katherine,  l.  ; Brown,  r.  c.  ; Marion,  r.). 
A luncheon?  I begs  your  pardon,  Miss  Katherine. 

Kath.  A luncheon.  That  is  what  I said. 

Jenk.  But,  Miss  Katherine,  I brought  it  once. 

Kath.  Never  mind.  Bring  it  again.  We  are  ready  now. 


i6 


MR.  BOB. 


(Jenkins  exchanges  glances  with  Brown,  and  exit.)  Philip  has 
told  me  all  abomt  you,  Mr.  Saunders.  I am  his  Cousin  Kitty. 
All  seated.) 


-3  Br.  ( seated  at  r.  ; Marion,  c.  of  table ; Katherine,  l.  of 
table).  I am  delighted  to  meet  you,  Miss  Kitty.  I also  have  heard 
all  about  you,  and  of  your  warm  attachment. 

Mar.  Kitty,  are  you  in  love?  And  are  you  keeping  it  from  me? 
Kath.  Indeed  I am  not.  What  do  you  mean,  Mr.  Saunders? 
IBr.  {aside).  I might  just  as  well  tell  a good  story  while  I am 
about  it.  {Aloud.)  The  man  whom  you  love  so  dearly  was  rather 
surprised  at  first  to  learn  of  his  good  fortune,  but  as  the  idea  grows 
upon  him,  he  rather  likes  it.  {Aside.)  I have  made  up  my  mind 
that  these  persons  are  all  lunatics,  and  that  I had  better  humor 
them. 

Kath.  Will  you  please  tell  me  how  you  received  such  valuable 
information  ? 

Br.  Certainly.  From  Philip,  of  course.  {Aside.)  That  is  one 
on  Mr.  Philip. 

Kath.  Well  I never!  Some  of  Philip’s  nonsense  ; yet  it  doesn’t 
seem  a bit  like  him. 

( Enter  Jenkins  with  luncheon  : places  it  upon  table , and  exit.) 

Kath.  Here  is  the  luncheon.  You  must  be  very  hungry. 

- *Br.  {aside).  If  I keep  this  up,  I shall  not  care  for  anything  else 
to  eat  for  ten  days.  {All  seated  at  table.) 

Kath.  Don’t  wait,  Mr.  Saunders.  Philip  has  told  me  you  were 
very  fond  of  good  things  to  eat. 

- Br.  Oh,  yes  ; Philip  and  I were  always  having  spreads. 

Kath.  College  men  become  such  warm  friends.  You  and 
Philip  are  so  devoted  to  one  another. 

‘Br.  Yes  — yes.  Quite  an  unusual  friendship. 

Mar.  Tell  us  about  some  of  your  larks. 

Kath.  Oh,  yes ! Philip  said  you  would  tell  us  all  about  his  little 
flirtation. 

“ ^Br.  Flirtation?  {Aside.)  I will  try  bluff  again.  {Laughs.) 
Oh,  yes  ! Pretty  good  joke  on  Philip.  He  fell  in  love* 

Kath.  Fell  in  love?  Oh  ! do  tell  us  all  about  it. 

\ Mar.  Yes;  do  go  on. 

Br.  That  is,  he  thought  that  he  did. 

Kath.  Well. 

* Br.  She  was  a waitress  at  the  house  where  we  boarded.  By 
Jove!  She  was  a beauty  too.  Philip  completely  lost  his  head, 
and  he  would  talk  of  her  by  the  hour.  We  had  some  pretty  warm 
discussions.  I declared  that  I had  a cousin  ten  times  prettier. 
Philip  said  that  his  cousin  couldn’t  hold  a candle  to  her. 

Kath.  {rises,  indignant).  Oh,  she  couldn’t! 

Br.  {laughing).  And  the  joke  of  it  all  was,  that  the  pretty 
waitress  turned  out  to  be  the  head  waiter’s  wife.  {Laughs.) 

Kath.  {sarcastically.)  Ha,  ha!  A very  good  joke.  I’ll  pay 
Philip  for  that,  — comparing  my  face  with  that  of  a waitress. 


MR.  BOB.  17 

Br.  (< aside ).  Pretty  good  game  of  bluff.  I think  that  Mr. 

Philip  and  I are  even  on  that  medicine  question. 

( Enter  Jenkins  ; goes  to  l.  c.) 

Jenk.  Mr.  Philip  is  ready.  He  would  like  to  have  the  gentle- 
man  come  to  the  boat-house. 

Mar.  (l.  c.,  to  Brown).  You  will  take  us  out  sailing,  won’t 
you?  The  water  is  just  glorious. 

(Jenkins  exit  with  tray.) 

Kath.  We  shall  make  you  very  useful. 

Br.  ( aside , in  despaH).  Make  me  very  sea-sick. 

Mar.  We  shall  have  a chance  to  watch  your  skill. 

Br.  I don’t  like  to  leave  you,  ladies.  {Hand  in  pocket .)  You 
see,  I came  down  — 

Kath.  We  appreciate  your  gallantry,  but  we  would  not  deprive 
you  of  the  pleasure  of  sailing. 

sBr.  {aside).  The  pleasure  won’t  be  mine. 

Mar.  (l.  c.).  We  shall  be  with  you  all  the  afternoon. 

Br.  (c.).  Where? 

Kath.  (l.  c.).  Upon  the  water,  of  course. 

Br.  Oh,  yes ! {At  door,  c.)  Good-by,  ladies.  {Comes  back , 
takes  Katherine  and  Marion  by  arm , leads  them  down  front.) 
I am  so  glad  that  I came  down.  {Exit.) 

Kath.  He  does  not  seem  a bit  like  any  of  Philip’s  friends 
whom  I have  met. 

Mar.  Not  a very  brilliant  man. 

Kath.  Mr.  Saunders,  of  course,  would  not  come  down  here  and 
tell  anything  which  was  not  true,  but  that  story  of  Philip’s  flirtation 
seems  hard  to  believe.  1 can’t  believe  Philip  would  compare  my 
face  with  that  of  any  waitress. 

Mar.  Well,  if  he  would,  I don’t  care  to  know  him. 

{Enter  Patty,  l.) 

Pat.  If  you  please,  Miss  Katherine,  will  you  come  to  the 
kitchen  ? The  cats  are  a-fighting  each  other. 

Mar.  What  cats,  Kitty  ? 

Kath.  Why,  Aunt  Becky  is  so  interested  in  cats,  she  has  them 
on  the  brain. 

{Exeunt  Katherine  a7id  Marion.) 

Pat.  (l.)  “Cats  on  the  brain!”  Well,  I never!  I do  believe 
those  cats  would  walk  in  anywhere. 

{E}iter  Jenkins.) 

Pat.  O Jenkins,  what  do  you  think  ? Everything  is  all  mixed 
up.  When  I comes  back  to  find  Mr.  Brown,  and  to  tell  him  that 
Miss  Becky  was  not  at  home,  I heard  the  young  ladies  a-talk- 


MR.  BOB. 


ing  to  him,  and  they  called  him  Mr.  Saunders.  And  Mr.  Brown 
looked  as  though  he  didn’t  know  who  he  was  himself. 

Jenk.  And  I heard  Mr.  Philip  call  him  Mr.  Bob.  As  long  as 
they  think  he  belongs  to  those  names,  Miss  Becky  is  all  right. 

Pat.  Dear  me  ! I haven't  danced  for  five  minutes ! (. Dances 

about  stage j Jenkins  looks  at  her  admiringly .) 

Jenk.  You  knows  just  how,  don’t  you,  Patty  ? 

Pat.  Yes;  and  you  ought  to  dance  with  me.  ( Arms  about 
Jenkins,  who  is  very  dignified  and  dances  awkwardly .) 

Jenk.  Bless  me,  Patty  ! You  make  me  lose  my  breath. 

Pat.  All  right,  Mr.  Jenkins.  I know  some  one  what  would 
like  to  dance  with  me. 

Jenk.  Well,  you  see,  Patty,  I was  a younger  man  once. 

Pat.  Then  1 will  find  a man  what  is  younger  now.  Farewell, 
my  ancient  Jenkins.  ( Dances  off  stage,  c.) 

Jenk.  Wait,  Patty.  ( Goes  to  door , c.)  There  she  goes  — and 
now  she  is  dancing  with  James.  O fickle  Patty!  You  keep  my 
’eart  a-dancing.  ( Fakes  book  from  pocket.)  I will  study  my  part 
of  Romeo.  That  will  make  her  pleasant  again.  ( Stands  readitig 
book  at  R.  front.) 

( Enter  Miss  Becky,  c.  ; wears  bonnet  and  wrap.) 

Miss  B.  There!  I was  not  gone  very  long.  (Sees  Jenkins.) 
Jenkins,  what  are  you  doing? 

Jenk.  I begs  your  pardon.  I was  studying  to  be  a Romeo. 

Miss  B.  Studying  to  be  what  ? 

Jenk.  (confused) . I means — I was  reading  Shakespeare. 

Miss  B.  (c.).  Tell  Miss  Katherine  that  I wish  to  see  her. 
(Jenkins  exit , c.)  And  Jenkins  is  interested  in  the  drama  as  well 
as  Patty.  The  next  event  will  be  the  appearance  of  my  dignified 
butler  dancing  the  ballet.  Of  course  Mr.  Brown  has  not  arrived, 
or  Jenkins  would  have  spoken  of  it.  (At  door , c.)  They  are  pre- 
paring for  the  race.  It  will  be  a beaytiful  sight;  yet  I do  wish 
Philip  would  not  sail  in  the  race  to-day.  I have  a strong  feeling 
that  something  will  happen. 

(Enter  Philip,  whistling.) 

Phil.  I wonder  where  the  cushions  are  that  belong  to  my  boat. 
Have  you  seen  them,  Aunt  Becky? 

Miss  B.  Yes,  in  the  boat-house  this  morning. 

Phil.  Can’t  find  them  anywhere.  This  is  a great  day  for  the 
race.  There  is  a jolly  breeze  stirring,  and  my  boat  is  sure  to  win. 

Miss  B.  (wipes  eyes).  Philip,  I feel  sure  that  something  will 
happen. 

Phil.  I surely  hope  something  will  — the  race. 

Miss  B.  I mean  an  accident. 

Phil,  (arm  around  Miss  Becky).  Why,  Aunt  Becky!  Shed- 
ding tears  for  me  ? Such  a good-for-nothing  chap  ? 

Miss  B.  Please  do  not  sail  that  boat  to-day. 


MR.  BOB.  19 

Phil.  Oh,  but  I must.  It  would  break  my  heart  to  be  out  of 
the  sport. 

Miss  B.  It  would  break  my  heart  to  lose  you. 

Phil.  I don’t  like  to  make  you  feel  badly ; but  you  are  asking 
a great  deal. 

Miss  B.  I know  it.  Ask  something  of  me.  I would  give  up 
anything  for  you. 

Phil.  Aunt  Becky,  look  me  straight  in  the  eye.  If  I will  give 
up  the  race,  will  you  give  up  the  cats  ? 

Miss  B.  ( hesitates ).  Yes,  Philip,  I will. 

Phil.  Then  the  compact  is  sealed.  (Kisses  her.)  I would 
give  up  fifty  races  to  see  you  sensible  again. 

Miss  B.  How  will  you  arrange  it  ? 

Phil,  (thinks).  Let  me  see.  I must  make  some  excuse  to 
Kitty.  I have  it.  A sudden  call  to  town.  Urgent  business. 
Your  lawyers,  Benson  & Benson.  I will  write  Kitty  a note. 

Miss  B.  And  I will  tell  Jenkins  to  pack  your  grip. 

Phil.  Tell  him  to  pack  it  at  once.  I shall  start  immediately. 
(Miss  Becky  exit , c.)  It  is  good-by  yachting.  But  anything  to 
stop  this  fad  of  Aunt  Becky’s.  She  would  squander  all  her  money. 
Mr.  Bob  is  the  greatest  chump  that  has  crossed  my  path  yet. 
Kitty  must  be  in  need  of  friends  to  admire  the  fellow  so  much. 
Talk  about  sand ! He  hasn't  a grain  of  it.  All  bluff  about  his 
knowing  how  to  sail  a boat.  He  was  as  white  as  a sheet  at  the  sight 
of  the  water.  Said  that  he  did  not  care  to  sail,  and  I left  him  lying 
upon  the  sand  by  the  boat-house.  He  wanted  to  rest  a little  he 
said.  I did  get  him  into  the  tender  for  about  five  minutes.  (Sits 
at  table ; wi'ites  letter.)  There  ! That  will  do.  I am  sorry  to  dis- 
appoint Kitty.  (Laughs.)  Just  for  fun,  I will  tell  her  to  ask  Mr. 
Bob  to  sail  the  boat.  He  is  such  a glorious  specimen  of  a man. 
He  will  be  sure  to  win.  (Rises  and  leaves  note  upon  table.)  Think 
I will  have  a couple  of  my  cigars  to  comfort  me  on  the  way. 
(Exit  into  room , L.) 

(Enter  Patty,  r.,  with  valise.) 

Patty.  It’s  two  lovely  ones  I have  in  this  bag.  Jenkins  shall 
have  them  with  my  compliments.  (Crosses  to  R.  front.) 

(Enter  Philip  from  l.,  and  crosses  to  L.  front  with  pair  of  curl- 
ing-tongs.) 

Phil.  That  man  had  better  curl  up  once  more  and  die.  (Holds 
up  tongs.)  These  settle  him.  Bah  ! (Throws  them  out  of  door, 
c.)  Ah,  Patty!  My  valise  all  ready?  You  are  a jewel.  I have 
left  a note  for  Miss  Katherine  upon  the  table.  (Attempts  to  take 
valise  from  Patty.) 

Pat.  If  you  please,  it’s  mine,  sir. 

Phil.  Nonsense,  girl!  Don’t  you  suppose  that  I know  my  own 
grip? 

Pat,  If  you  please,  Miss  Katherine  — 


20 


MR.  BOB. 


Phil.  ( takes  it  from  her).  Don’t  delay  me.  Time  is  precious. 
( Exit .) 

Pat.  Lor.r  It’s  the  two  cats  he  has  with  him.  (Laughs  heartily.) 
(Enter  Jenkins,  c.,  with  valise.) 

Jenk.  (c.).  Where  is  Mr.  Philip?  His  grip  is  ready. 

Pat.  (l.).  His  grip?  I think  he  took  it  with  him.  I thought  I 
had  muscle,  but  he  must  have  a whole  armful.  O Jenkins ! 
what  do  you  think  has  happened  now  ? I put  two  cats  into  the  bag 
that  Mr.  Philip  has  taken  with  him.  (Laughs ; both  come  down.) 

Jenk.  Well,  I never  ! I suppose  it  is  beneath  the  dignity  of  a 
Jenkins  to  laugh,  but  I can’t  help  it.  (Both  seated upon  couch 
laughing  when  Katherine  and  Marion  enter,  c.) 

Kath.  (l.  c.  ; Marion,  l.).  What  are  you  both  laughing  at? 
Pat.  (l.  c.).  You  remember  the  small  trunk  with  two  handles 
you  gave  me? 

Kath.  You  mean  the  valise? 

Pat.  Yes,  Miss  Katherine.  I put  two  black  cats  into  it. 

Kath.  Patty,  what  did  you  do  that  for? 

Jenk.  And  Mr.  Philip  thought  it  was  his  grip,  and  has  gone 
with  it. 

Kath.  Gone?  Where? 

Pat.  He  left  a note  on  the  table  for  you. 

Kath.  (opens  ?iote).  He  has  gone  to  town  on  business.  Oh, 
dear  ! What  a shame  ! He  won’t  sail  in  the  race. 

Jenk.  Here  is  the  grip  I packed  for  him. 

Mar.  (laughs).  It  will  be  lively  music  when  the  cats  begin  to  sing. 
Kath.  What  shall  we  do?  (Goes  to  door  c.)  Plere  is  Mr. 
Saunders.  Perhaps  he  will  take  it  to  him.  Order  another  carriage 
for  Mr.  Saunders,  Jenkins.  (Jenkins  exit  l.) 

ap$**~(Enter  Brown,  c.  ; looks  very  pale;  sinks  upon  a couch.) 

Kath.  You  are  just  in  time,  Mr.  Saunders. 

Br.  I hope  it  isn’t  another  luncheon. 

Kath.  A mistake  has  been  made.  Philip  has  taken  the  wrong 
bag.  Will  you  take  his  to  the  station? 

<^Br.  But  I feel  so  ill. 

Kath.  You  shall  have  a remedy. 

-^Br.  Oh,  no,  thank  you.  I have  had  one  already. 

Kath.  No  trouble,  I assure  you  ; I won’t  be  a moment.  (Exit  R.) 
Br.  (aside).  A chance  to  escape.  (Makes  for  door , C.) 

> t Mar.  (comes  to  L. ; holds  up  bag).  Here  is  the  bag. 

Br.  Oh,  yes ; I forget  it. 

Pat.  Will  you  bring  back  the  cats,  sir  ? 

Br.  Oh,  yes ; cats,  grip,  Mr.  Philip,  everything  but  myself. 
(Exit.) 

(Enter  Miss  Becky,  r.) 

Miss  B.  What  is  all  this  commotion? 

Mar.  Your  nephew  has  made  a mistake,  and  has  taken  the 
wrong  bag. 


MR.  BOB. 


21 


{Enter  Katherine  with  glass,  r.) 


Kath.  (c.).  Where  is  Mr.  Saunders? 

Miss  B.  Is  Mr.  Saunders  here? 

Mar.  Yes.  He  has  gone  after  Mr.  Philip  with  the  bag. 

Kath.  {at  door  c.).  There  he  is  now.  How  fast  he  is  running! 

Miss  B.  {at  door  c.).  That  man  is  not  Mr.  Saianders. 

Kath.  {both  girls  grasp  her  arm  ; all  come  down  stage ) . Why, 
Amnt  Becky  ! 

Miss  B.  Mr.  Saunders  is  very  large  and  very  dark.  Did  Philip 
introduce  you  ? 

Kath.  {girls  exchange  glances) . Why,  no.  Philip  told  me  that 
his  friend  might  arrive  at  any  moment,  and  if  he  should  be  out, 
asked  me  to  entertain  him.  I thought  he  behaved  very  strangely. 

Mar.  He  must  be  an  impostor. 

Kath.  He  has  Philip’s  valise.  What  shall  we  do? 

Miss  B.  Find  Jenkins,  and  send  him  after  the  man. 

Mar.  Yes.  I will  go.  {Exit  l.) 

Miss  B.  How  could  you  have  been  so  imprudent,  Katherine? 

Kath.  {at  door  c.).  Bob  has  found  Jenkins.  He  is  running 
after  the  man.  The  man  turns,  sees  Jenkins,  — is  running  faster. 
Those  poor  cats  ! 

Pat.  (l.).  Sh  ! 

Miss  B.  What  cats? 

Kath.  (l.).  Philip  has  taken  two  by  mistake. 

Miss  B.  What ! {Sinks  into  chair.) 

Pat.  O ma’am,  I hopes  you  will  forgive  me.  I am  the  guilty 
one. 

Kath.  Jenkins  is  gaining  on  him.  Now  he  has  caught  him. 
They  are  coming  back. 

Miss  B.  What  a narrow  escape  ! {Enter  Marion,  l.) 

Mar.  The  poor  man  looks  a wreck  of  his  former  self. 

Kath.  Only  think  of  the  stories  he  told. 

Mar.  (l.  c.,  looking  off  cl).  Here  they  are. 

Miss  B.  (l.  c.).  I wonder  who  this  impostor  is? 

Pat.  (l.  c.  ; loud  whisper).  Sh  ! It’s  your  Mr.  Brown. 

Miss  B.  {holds  up  hands  in  horror).  Oh  ! 


% 


Brown  and  Jenkins  appear  at  door , c. ; Jenkins  has  Brown  by 
arm,  valise  i?i  other  hand ; Brown  presents  a very  dilapidated 
appearance.) 


Kath.  (l.  c.  ; sternly).  So,  sir,  you  have  deceived  us. 
v Br.  My  dear  ladies,  I came  down  — 


TABLEAU. 

(Miss  Becky  in  chair , r.  ; Patty  stands  behind  her ; Jenkins  and 
Brown  at  entrance , c. ; Marion  and  Katherine  at  l.  of  stage  j 
Katherine’s  hand  raised  to  silence  Brown.  Quick  curtain .) 


22 


MR.  BOB. 


ACT  II. 

Scene.  — Same  as  in  Act  I.;  time,  afternoon.  Patty  discovered 

seated  upon  stepladder  near  fireplace , reading  a book  and  ges- 
ticulating with  feather  duster . 

Patty  ( reads ). 

“ O Romeo,  Romeo  ! Wherefore  art  thou  Romeo? 

Deny  thy  father,  and  refuse  thy  name ; 

Or,  if  thou  wilt  not,  be  but  sworn  my  love, 

And  I’ll  no  longer  be  a Capulet.” 

(Speaks.)  Ain’t  that  just  beautiful?  How  lovely  to  be  a Juliet, 
and  have  a Romeo  what  wants  to  say  he  ain't  got  no  father  and  no 
name,  and  swears  to  love  you  always  and  forever!  My  eyes!  that 
would  be  sweet  living,  that  would.  (Sighs.)  I wish  1 could  find 
some  one  like  that.  (Leans  head  upon  hand  and  thinks  a mo- 
ment.) I wonder  if  Mr.  Brown  is  anybody’s  Romeo?  (Laughs.) 
Poor  man,  they  have  put  him  into  that  room  (points  to  door , R.), 
and  Miss  Becky  is  just  dying  for  a chance  to  speak  with  him,  but 
she  is  afraid  Miss  Katherine  will  find  it  out.  I expect  when  Mr. 
Philip  comes  back  with  those  cats  there  will  be  a cyclone  a-blowing 
through  this  house,  and  lor!  won’t  I be  in  it?  If  it  does  come,  I’ll 
give  them  Mr.  Macbeth’s  great  dagger  scene.  My  ! ain’t  it  thrilling. 
It  just  makes  me  afraid  to  go  to  bed  nights.  (Opens  book.)  I do 
likes  Mr.  Shakespeare’s  writings.  (While  reading  the  following , 
Jenkins  enters , c.,  sees  Patty,  and  steals  up  behind  her,  int ending 
to  surprise  her ; he  stands  at  her  left , within  reach  of  her  ha?id. 
Patty  makes  gestures  without  raisi?ig  eyes  fro7n  book.)  “ Is  this 
a dagger  which  I see  before  me,  the  handle  toward  my  hand  ? Come, 
let  me  clutch  thee.”  (Grasps  Jenkins’s  hair.)  “I  have  thee  not, 
and  yet  I see  thee  still.” 

Jenkins.  You  has  got  me,  Patty.  For  ’eaven's  sake  let  go  ! 

Pat.  (startled).  Lor!  Jenkins,  how  you  frightened  me!  I 
thought  as  how  Mr.  Macbeth  had  come  to  life.  I wish  you  would 
let  me  have  a few  minutes’  peace,  Jenkins.  I can’t  move  but  you 
are  a-looking  at  me.  Now,  if  you  only  had  some  sense,  like  Mr. 
Shakespeare’s  Romeo. 

Jenk.  What  does  Mr.  Romeo  do,  Patty? 

Pat.  Oh,  he  climbs  ladders  to  see  Juliet,  and  wishes  he  was  a 
glove  on  her  hand,  and  all  that  sort  of  thing. 

Jenk.  Well,  Patty,  the  next  time  you  clutches  my  ’air,  I ’opes 
as  ’ow  you  will  ’ave  a glove  on  your  ’and.  (Rubs  head.)  I ain’t 
no  Romeo,  but  I wishes  that. 

Pat.  Oh,  that  was  love,  Jenkins. 

Jenk  .{delighted).  Love,  Patty  ! Love  for  me? 

Pat.  No,  you  stupid!  (Rises  and  7nakes  gestures.)  Love  for 
the  dramatic  art. 


MR.  BOB. 


^3 


Jenk  .(excited).  Whose ’eart,  Patty?  {Takes  off  coat  and  rolls 
up  sleeve .)  Show  me  the  man  what  ’as  a dramatic  ’eart,  and  he  shall 
die  by  the  hand,  — and  if  I does  say  it,  it’s  true,  the  noble  hand  of 
a Jenkins. 

Pat.  ( applauds  and  jumps  fro?n  ladder ).  Good,  Jenkins! 
That  was  grand.  You  are  a-getting  on  famously.  If  you  keeps  up 
like  this,  you  will  be  the  man  yourself.  (Jenkins  pleased.)  Bring 
the  steps  to  the  pantry  and  I will  show  you  how  to  act  Romeo. 
{At  door  R.)  Come  on,  my  noble  Jenkins.  {Exit  laughing.) 

Jenk.  {carries  steps  to  door,  R.).  I object  to  any  name  but  Jen- 
kins, but  to  please  Patty,  I suppose  1 must  be  a Romeo.  {Exit  with 
steps  R.) 

{Enter  Katherine,  c.) 

Katherine.  This  promises  to  be  an  interesting  day.  Philip 
unable  to  sail  in  the  race.  Bob,  I might  say,  under  false  pretences, 
and  a strange  man,  an  impostor,  lurking  about  the  house.  What  a 
narrow  escape  ! Think  of  asking  him  to  take  us  sailing,  and  then 
sitting  down  to  luncheon,  calling  him  Mr.  Saunders  ! And  that 
story  he  made  up  about  Philip’s  flirtation.  He  is  clever,  if  he  is  a 
thief.  Dear  me  ! 1 do  wish  Philip  would  return.  {Takes  note  from 
table  ; reads  it.) 

{Enter  Marion,  dressed  in  yachting-costume.) 

Marion.  What  are  you  doing,  Kitty? 

Kath.  Reading  Philip’s  note. 

Mar.  {looks  over  her  shoulder).  What  does  he  say? 

Kath.  {reads  note). 

Dear  Kitty,  — Business  calls  me  to  town  at  once.  Sorry  to  disappoint  you 
about  the  race.  Perhaps  Mr.  Bob  will  sail  the  boat.  He  is  such  a star  specimen 
of  a yachtsman,  he  will  take  the  club  by  storm. 


{Speaks.)  Now,  if  you  were  really  and  truly  Mr.  Bob,  you  might 
win  the  race. 

Mar.  {sits  at  table  ; leans  head  upon  hand).  Oh,  dear  ! if  I 
only  were.  It  is  so  stupid  to  be  a girl. 

Kath.  If  that  Mr.  Brown  had  only  been  some  one  nice,  what 
fun  we  could  have  had.  {Sits  opposite  Marion/  she  assumes  same 
position ; both  very  dejected ; sighs.)  Oh,  dear  ! 

Mar.  {sighs).  I call  it  hard  luck. 

Kath.  {sighs).  It  will  break  my  heart  to  have  Philip’s  boat  out 
of  the  race. 

Mar.  (r.  of  table;  rises , stands  with  both  hands  leaning  upon 
table , looks  at  Katherine).  Kitty,  I have  an  idea. 

Kath.  (l.  of  table ; assumes  same  position  opposite).  No  ! have 
you  really? 

Mar.  {excited).  You  know,  I have  a brother  Jack. 


24 


MR.  BOB. 


Kath.  (excited).  Yes. 

Mar.  And  he  has  taught  me  how  to  sail  a boat. 

Kath.  No!  Really? 

Mar.  Yes  ; as  true  as  I am  standing  here. 

Kath.  O Bob,  do  you  think  you  could? 

Mar.  Yes. 

Kath.  (embraces  her).  You  are  an  angel. 

Mar.  If  I can  get  Skipper  Rawson  to  help  me. 

Kath.  He  will,  I know. 

Mar.  (at  door , c.).  Then,  Kitty,  you  shall  not  be  disappointed. 
Your  cousin’s  boat  shall  enter  the  race  (laughs)  ; and  who  knows, 
“ the  star  specimen  of  a yachtsman,  Mr.  Bob,”  may  win.  Come 
on,  Kitty,  and  help  me  find  my  skipper.  (Exit.) 

Kath.  Oh,  if  she  only  could  ! (Exit.) 


(Brown  opens  door , R.,  slowly , with  shoes  in  hand ; looks  about 
cautiously .) 

Brown.  I wonder  if  the  patients  in  this  house  are  all  asleep? 
(Noise  outside ; Brown  drops  shoe  and  disappears  quickly ; after  a 
moment  appears  and  enters.)  This  is  the  most  extraordinary  house- 
hold. I never  stepped  into  a hornets’  nest  that  was  livelier.  I am 
so  cold  and  feel  so  ill.  Those  few  moments  in  the  tender  of  the 
yacht  finished  me.  (Looks  about  him  nervously ; starts  as  though 
he  heard  a noise ; steps  upon  shoes.)  I have  a nervous  chill.  They 
sent  me  flying  after  that  escaped  lunatic  Mr.  Philip ; then  rushed 
after  me  and  brought  me  back,  and  all  the  time  the  butler  kept  say- 
ing, “ Sh  ! Don’t  give  it  away  that  you  are  Brown.”  Brown  ! If  I 
don’t  get  myself  out  of  this  place  soon,  I shall  be  more  than  brown, 
done  to  a crisp.  I wonder  if  I can  escape.  It  is  no  use  trying  to 
tell  these  people  who  I really  am.  They  couldn’t  understand,  and 
wouldn’t  believe  me.  I am  beginning  to  doubt  if  I really  am  what 
I am,  myself.  Some  one  is  coming.  I must  escape.  (Exit  r.) 


(Enter  Miss  Becky,  c ; she  is  very  nervous,  and  looks  about  cau- 
tiously.) 

Miss  Becky.  Poor  Mr.  Brown!  I feel  so  sorry  for  him.  I do 
not  dare  tell  Katherine,  and  then  my  promise  to  Philip.  I must 
get  him  out  of  the  house  before  they  discover  his  name.  Oh,  dear  \ 
I will  never  have  another  secret  as  long  as  I live.  (Crosses  to  door 
R. ; listens.)  I can  hear  him  walking  about  the  room.  (Knocks  at 
«door.)  Mr.  Brown ! 

Br.  (puts  head  out  of  door).  Yes,  madam.  (Aside.)  Another 
lunatic. 

Miss  B.  (motions  him  to  enter;  places  finger  on  lips).  Sh  ! 
Sh! 

Br.  (aside;  enters).  I wonder  what  that  signal  “ Sh ! ” 
means  ? 


MR.  BOB.  25 

Miss  B.  ( after  listening  at  doors  approaches  Brown  with  finger 
on  lips).  Not  a word  that  you  are  here. 

' Br.  It  isn’t  necessary.  They  all  know  it. 

Miss  B.  A thousand  pardons  for  this  treatment.  It  was  a 
mistake. 

^ Br.  I think  it  was,  madam.  A decided  mistake.  I insist  upon 
telling  you  that  my  name  is  Brown.  (PViih  emphasis.)  Brown! 
And  that  I came  down  with  important  papers. 

Miss  B.  Yes,  yes ; I know  it.  ( Tries  to  keep  him  quiet.) 

-J  Br.  {takes  papers  froin  pocket).  These  papers  — 

Miss  B.  {takes papers).  Yes;  they  are  the  plans  for  the  house. 
(Brown  astonished.)  I will  lay  them  aside  for  the  present. 
{Aside.)  I must  get  him  out  of  the  house.  {Aloud.)  We  won’t 
use  the  papers  until  another  time. 

^Br.  {aside).  Not  44  another  time”  forme.  (Miss  Becky  l.  ; 
Brown,  r.) 

Miss  B.  Come  with  me,  and  I will  show  you  the  rooms.  (Miss 
Becky  turns  to  c.) 

*^Br.  Yes,  my  dear  madam  ; but  I came  down  — (Brown  crosses 
to  L.) 

Miss  B.  Yes;  it  will  be  all  right.  Don’t  worry  about  it.  You 
must  be  very  tired  and  hungry.  Do  let  me  order  a luncheon  for 
vou.  {Rings  bell ; comes  down  L.  c.) 

- 'Br.  But,  my  dear  madam  — 

Miss  B.  Not  a bit  of  trouble.  I regret  my  mistake  so  much, 
you  deserve  a little  hospitality.  {Goes  to  door , C.) 

vBr.  {aside).  If  I were  really  a hungry  man,  this  would  be  de- 
cidedly pleasant,  luncheons  served  every  five  minutes. 

{Enter  Jenkins;  Miss  Becky  comes  down  stage.) 

Miss  B.  Jenkins,  this  is  Mr.  Brown,  the  architect,  whom  I was 
expecting  this  morning.  (Brown  astonished.)  I have  explained 
everything  to  him.  Bring  him  a luncheon  at  once,  and  serve  it  in 
the  arbor. 

Jenk.  {astonished).  Another  luncheon,  Miss  Becky!  Why, 
he  has  had  two  already. 

Miss  B.  {with  dignity).  If  I should  order  fifty,  it  is  your  duty 
to  serve  them  without  any  comments. 

Jenk.  But,  I say,  ma’am  — 

Miss  B.  That  will  do,  Jenkins.  (Jenkins  exit  with  dignity , 
R.)  While  we  are  waiting,  I will  show  you  the  rooms. 

-^Br.  {aside).  Scene  second  of  this  little  comedy  is  an  improve- 
ment upon  the  first.  I will  be  led  to  the  slaughter  of  another 
luncheon  willingly.  {Aloudi)  My  dear  madam,  I follow  you  with 
pleasure.  {Business  at  door  L. ; Brown  bows  profoundly  to  Miss 
Becky  ; both  exeunt.) 

{Enter  Philip,  c.,  with  travelling-bag , or,  if  practicable , a cat 
under  each  ar7n  j walks  up  and  down  in  an  excited  manner.) 


2 6 


MR.  BOB. 


Philip.  Pretty  piece  of  business ! I don’t  object  to  Aunt 
Becky  having  her  house  full  of  cats,  but  I do  object  to  having  my 
property  made  alive  with  them.  When  I found  myself  in  the  cars, 
I threw  my  grip  upon  the  rack  above  me,  as  usual.  To  my  sur- 
prise, a chorus  of  cats  was  heard.  Every  one  looked  about  and  at 
one  another,  Finally  I discovered  that  the  noise  proceeded  from 
my  bag.  Upon  opening  it,  two  cats  jumped  forth ! I am  sorry 
for  the  one  that  played  this  little  game  on  me.  There  will  be  suffi- 
cient gore  to  paint  this  town  red.  {Throws  cats  out  door,  C.) 

( Enter  Miss  Becky,  r.  ; sees  Philip;  hides  papers  in  pocket.) 

Miss  B.  Why,  Philip,  back  again  so  soon? 

Phil.  Yes;  my  journey  was  interrupted.  Found  that  my  grip 
was  packed  with  cats,  instead  of  clothes. 

Miss  B.  What  cruelty!  Do  you  know  who  did  it? 

Phil.  No  ; but  I intend  to  find  out. 

Miss  B.  What  treatment  for  cats  ! 

Phil.  What  treatment  for  me,  I should  say. 

Miss  B.  Did  you  go  to  town? 

Phil,  {laughs').  Oh,  yes!  In  company  with  a man  who 
walked  up  to  me  on  the  train,  showed  his  badge,  and  tried  to  arrest 
me  for  cruelty  to  animals.  A pleasant  time  I have  had  of  it.  I 
have  lost  everything,  — the  race,  my  temper,  everything  but  those 
cats.  They  clung  to  me  like  grim  death. 

Miss  B.  I am  so  sorry,  Philip. 

Phil.  So  am  I ; and  there  will  be  some  one  else  regretting, 
when  I find  him. 

Miss  B.  You  will  be  in  time  for  the  race.  Kitty  will  think  it 
strange  if  you  do  not  enter  your  yacht. 

Phil.  No,  she  won’t.  Tell  her  the  truth.  No  good  ever  comes 
of  deception. 

Miss  B.  {nervous).  Indeed,  you  are  right.  I will  never  have 
another  secret. 

Phil.  You  have  a secret,  Aunt  Becky? 

Miss  B.  {embarrassed).  Oh,  no  — I — I — mean,  it  would 
make  me  so  nervous  to  have  one. 

Phil.  Well,  I am  off  to  my  den.  Don’t  let  any  one  speak  to 
me,  and  perhaps  I shall  cool  down  a bit.  {Exit,  c.) 

Miss  B.  {crosses  to  l.,  front).  What  can  I do?  Philip  is  so 
enraged  about  the  cats,  I shall  not  dare  tell  him  about  Mr.  Brown, 
and  that  gentleman  insists  on  seeing  Philip.  Says  that  he  wishes 
to  explain  something.  I cannot  persuade  him  to  leave  the  house. 
{At  door,  c.)  Here  comes  Katherine.  I must  tell  her,  and  per- 
haps she  can  help  me. 

{Enter  Katherine,  c.) 

Kath.  (l.  c.).  O Aunt  Becky,  such  sport!  Bob  is  to  sail 
Philip’s  boat.  Why,  how  pale  you  look  ! Are  you  ill? 

Miss  B-  Oh,  no,  my  deal-;  but  I am  in  such  trouble- 


MR.  BOB.  27 

Kath.  That  horrid  man  is  at  the  bottom  of  it.  ( Goes  to  doory 
R.)  Why,  he  has  escaped  ! 

Miss  B.  Katherine,  I have  a confession  to  make.  That  mar 
was  not  an  impostor.  He  is  an  architect,  and  came  down  to  see 
me. 

Kath.  {surprised) . To  see  you? 

Miss  B.  Yes.  Before  I promised  Philip  to  give  up  my  pet 
scheme,  I had  made  an  appointment  with  my  architects  to  send  a 
man  down  with  plans  of  the  house.  I wished  to  keep  this  a secret 
from  you  and  Philip,  and  gave  Jenkins  and  Patty  orders  to  that 
effect. 

Kath.  He  must  think  that  we  are  a household  of  lunatics. 
That  little  story  of  his  about  Philip  was  not  true,  then.  This  is  a 
pleasant  situation,  1 must  admit. 

Miss  B.  He  insists  upon  seeing  Philip. 

Kath.  Thank  goodness  ! Philip  has  gone  to  town. 

Miss  B.  But  he  has  returned,  mv  dear,  and  so  enraged  about 
the  cats  I haven’t  the  courage  to  tell  him  that  Mr.  Brown  is  here. 

Kath.  What  shall  we  do?  {Rings  bell.)  We  must  prevent 
Philip  discovering  that  this  Mr.  Brown  has  been  here.  This  is 
more  of  a lark  than  I had  bargained  for. 

{Enter  Patty,  c.) 

Patty  {very  dramatic).  Who  calls,  my  lady? 

Kath.  This  is  not  the  time  or  place,  Patty,  to  rehearse  the 
drama.  If  you  can  help  us  out  of  our  present  difficulties  you  will 
have  plenty  of  dramatic  action.  We  are  in  trouble,  and  you  must 
help  us. 

Pat.  In  trouble,  Miss  Katherine?  What  can  I do  to  help  you? 
{Dramatically ; forgets  herself.)  You  knows  as  how  I am  ready  to 
die  for  you. 

Kath.  Mr.  Philip  has  returned,  and  is  furious  about  the  cats. 

Pat.  Lor!  miss,  I just  expects  he  is. 

Kath.  And  he  would  be  very  angry  if  he  knew  that  Mr.  Brown 
were  here.  You  must  keep  them  apart. 

Pat.  I’ll  try  to,  Miss  Katherine. 

Kath.  I wish  we  could  find  another  name  for  him. 

Pat.  I has  it,  Miss  Katherine.  I see  Mr.  Philip  a-talking  to 
Mr.  Brown,  and  he  called  him  Mr.  Bob. 

Kath.  Can  it  be  possible  that  he  has  mistaken  that  man  for  my 
friend?  {Laughsi)  This  is  rich  sport,  indeed.  Find  Mr.  Brown, 
Patty,  and  tell  him  that  when  he  meets  Mr.  Philip  he  must  be  Mr. 
Bob. 

Miss  B.  Oh,  dear!  What  confusion. 

Kath.  {coming  to  l.  c.  ; Patty  takes  l.).  Don’t  worry.  It  will 
all  come  out  beautifully.  Come  with  me  ; and  we  will  leave  Philip 
and  Mr.  Brown  to  Patty.  (Miss  Becky  and  Katherine^  to  en- 
trance c.) 

Pat.  ( runs  up  stage).  But,  Miss  Katherine  — 


28 


MR.  BOB. 


Kath.  You  are  so  fond  of  dramatic  action,  you  shall  have  plenty 
this  time.  {Both  exeunt .) 

Pat.  ( stands  looking  after  them ).  My  eyes  ! What  shall  I do? 
Mr.  Philip  will  go  off  like  fireworks  when  he  sees  me  ; and  Mr. 
Brown  is  so  mixed  with  all  the  different  names  we’ve  been  a-giving 
him,  that  he’ll  blaze  up  like  red  fire  if  we  ask  him  to  be  another 
man.  Oh,  dear!  Where  is  Jenkins?  Pie  must  help  me  someway. 
{Goes  to  door , C.)  Here  he  comes  now.  {Calls  softly .)  “ Romeo, 
Romeo.” 

{Enter  Jenkins.) 

Jenk.  Pm  a-coming,  Juliet. 

Pat.  More  trouble,  Jenkins.  We  must  find  Mr.  Brown  and 
tell  him  to  be  somebody  else. 

Jenk.  Somebody  else ! I should  say  he  ’ad  been  that  already. 

Pat.  But  he  must  be  so  some  more.  Miss  Katherine  don’t  want 
Mr.  Philip  to  know  he  is  Mr.  Brown.  Do  you  see?  And  they 
wants  him  to  be  Mr.  Bob.  {At  door , c.)  Here  he  is.  Be  ready 
for  him,  Jenkins.  I promised  I’d  help  Miss  Katherine,  and  I must. 

J'  {Enter  Brown.  Jenkins,  r.,  and  Patty,  l.,  stand  on  either  side 

of  the  entrance , Q,.,when  Brown  appears  ; both  take  hi?n  by  army 

and  with  fingers  on  lips  lead  him  down  stage.) 

V Br.  {first  to  Patty  and  then  /V?  Jenkins).  Sh  ! Sh!  There! 
You  didn’t  get  ahead  of  me  that  time.  Think  I know  your  old  sig- 
nal pretty  well.  Ha,  ha! 

Pat.  It’s  another  secret  we  has,  sir. 

Br.  More  secrets  ! Then  please  excuse  me.  {Runs  for  door , 
c.  ; Jenkins  and  Patty  bring  him  back ; Jenkins  catches  him  by 
coat.  Brown  shakes  him  off.)  I wish  it  distinctly  understood 
that  I didn’t  come  down  here  to  play  tag. 

Jenk.  It’s  perfectly  ’armless,  sir. 

Pat.  Miss  Becky  says  as  how  you  must  change  your  name 
again. 

Br.  More  objections  to  Brown,  has  she?  No  ; I won’t  do  it. 

Pat.  When  Mr.  Philip  is  in  the  room  you  is  to  be  Mr.  Bob. 

Br.  So  I will  — Mr.  Bob  Brown. 

Jenk.  Oh,  no,  sir  ; if  you  please,  only  plain  Mr.  Bob. 

Br.  Any  reflections  upon  my  good  iooks,  sir? 

Pat.  Oh,  no,  sir;  if  every  one  had  your  good  looks,  sir  — 
(Jenkins  business  of  jealousy .) 

Br.  Well,  anything  you  like.  Bring  on  your  secrets  and  your 
names.  Let  me  have  them  all.  Don’t  let  any  escape. 

Pat.  Thank  you,  sir.  Miss  Becky  will  be  very  thankful. 

{Enter  Philip,  Q.ffrojn  R.) 

Phil.  Ah,  Mr.  Bob ! Got  over  your  ill  turn  by  the  water,  have 
you? 


MR,  BOB. 


4, 


Br.  Oh,  yes ; I am  quite  well  now,  thank  you.  ( Looks  help- 
lessly at  Jenkins  and  Patty,  who  place  fingers  on  lips,) 

Phil,  (turns  and  sees  Jenkins  and  Patty).  Jenkins,  who  put 
those  cats  into  my  grip? 

Jenk.  I never  did,  sir. 

Pat.  If  you  please,  Ml  Philip,  it  was  me.  I was  planning  a 
surprise  for  Jenkins.  It  wasn’t  no  joke  on  you,  sir. 

Phil.  Oh,  it  wasn’t?  I beg  to  differ.  Don’t  try  such  a thing 
again  or  you  will  be  sorry.  Bring  me  some  coffee,  Jenkins;  and 
perhaps  Mr.  Bob  will  have  some  too. 

My  dear  sir  — 

Phil.  No  trouble  at  all.  As  soon  as  possible.  (Jenkins  and 
Patty  exeunt.)  Sit  down,  Mr.  Bob,  and  let  us  have  a chat  together. 
(Takes  cigar  from  pocket ; offers  one  to  Brown,  who  takes  it  reluc- 
tantly.) 

^Br.  (aside).  Never  smoked  a cigar  in  my  life.  (Lights  it, 
smokes , and  coughs .) 

Phil.  Perhaps  that  cigar  is  too  strong  for  you. 

Br.  (in  an  offhand  manner ).  Oh,  no;  not  at  all.  This  is  my 
favorite  brand. 

Phil,  (seated,  smoking;  looks  at  Brown  critically ).  And  you 
are  Kitty's  friend  ? 

lBr.  (only  puts  cigar  in  mouth  when  Philip  is  lookmg).  Yes.; 
oh,  yes. 

Phil.  Do  you  know,  you  are  just  opposite  from  what  I thought 
you  were. 

Br.  Am  I?  (Aside.)  I am  beginning  to  think  so  myself* 
(Enter  Jenkins  with  coffeel) 


Phil.  That’s  right,  Jenkins.  Bring  it  here.  (Jenkins  serves 
coffee  to  Brown  and  Philip  ; Brown  hands  cigar , lighted  end  first , 
to  Jenkins.  Jenkins  business  of  being  burned,  then  exit.)  This 
is  cosey.  We  can  drink  our  coffee  together  and  have  a chat  about 
Kitty. 

^Br.  If  you  will  excuse  me,  I won’t  indulge. 

Phil.  Nonsense,  old  man  I It  will  do  you  good.  (Brown 
tooks  helpless , and  takes  it.) 

~ *Br.  (aside).  If  I do  not  humor  him  he  may  become  violent. 
(Katherine  appears  at  door , c.  ; is  very  much  amused  to  see 
Brown  and  Philip  together ; listens  to  conversation.) 

Phil.  Ah,  Mr.  Bob,  you  are  a lucky  fellow  to  have  a girl  like 
Kitty  fond  of  you.  When  did  you  two  meet  one  another  ? 

ABr.  This  morning.  (Philip  looks  at  him.)  I mean,  only  a 
short  time  a<ro. 

Phil.  Well,  I must  say  you  did  not  lose  any  time  about  it. 

- Br.  You  see,  I made  such  an  impression  that  the  enemy  sur- 
rendered at  once. 

Phil,  (aside).  The  conceit  of  the  man!  (Aloud.)  You  made 
an  impression? 


UK  BOBo 


3° 

Br.  Oh, no;  I mean  that  she  — Kitty — made  the  surrender.,  H 
mean  the  impression. 

Phil.  ( rises ; aside) . O Kitty,  Kitty  ! I thought  you  had  better 
taste.  (Aloud.)  You  admit  that  you  love  Kitty? 

Br.  (aside).  Deeper  water.  Oh,  this  is  pleasant.  If  I tell  him 
that  I don’t  care  a rap  for  his  Kitty  he  may  grow  violent.  (Aloud; 
makes  profound  bow,  holding  cup  in  left  hand,  which  he  upsets  with 
right  in  placing  on  his  heart.)  My  dear  sir,  I adore  the  very 
ground  upon  which  she  walks. 

Phil.  Have  you  asked  her  to  marry  you? 

‘'Br.  No,  sir ; not  yet.  My  courage  fails  me. 

Phil.  But  you  must.  (Follows  Brown  about  room,) 

Br.  Oh,  I must,  must  I? 

Phil.  You  have  led  her  to  believe  that  you  are  fond  of  her,  and 
yet  you  do  not  propose. 

~"SBr.  But,  my  dear  sir,  I came  down  — 

Phil.  I know  that  well  enough.  If  you  are  the  honorable  man 
I take  you  to  be,  you  will  lose  no  time,  but  make  Kitty  happy  at 
once. 

Br.  But  I am  not  sure  that  she  loves  me. 

Phil.  But  she  does,  I assure  you.  Now,  sir,  no  more  non- 
sense ! 

Br.  (aside).  Dear  me!  Pie  will  have  another  attack.  (Crosses 
to  Philip  ; lays  hand  soothingly  upon  his  shoulder,  and  puts  finger 
on  lips.)  Sh  ! 

Phil,  (throws  off  his  hand).  No,  sir;  this  is  not  a time  for 
silence. 

Br.  (aside).  I will  try  their  signal.  (With finger  on  lips,  listens 
at  doors ; Katherine  disappears ; Philip  looks  at  him  in  astonish- 
ment.) Sh  ! Sh  ! 

Phil,  (aside).  What  is  this  man  trying  to  do?  He  loves  Kitty, 
and  hasn’t  the  sand  to  tell  her  of  it.  Now  I must  be  severe  and 
force  him  to  it.  (Aloud.)  Silence  yourself,  sir!  (Backs  Brown 
upon  sofa,  L.)  You  must  propose  to  Kitty  before  the  sun  goes  down. 
(Crosses  to  e7itrance,  c.)  If  you  don’t,  you  will  find  that  you  “ came 
down”  for  business.  (Exit.) 

Br.  (sinks  into  chair).  If  I didn’t  come  down  for  business t 
what  was  it  for  ? 

(Enter  Katherine  ; crosses  to  Brown  with  finger  on  lips.) 

Kath.  Sh  ! You  are  doing  beautifully.  Keep  it  up.  (Exit,  l,; 
laughing  at  Brown.) 

/ \Br.  (laughs).  Oh,  yes,  “ keep  it  up.”  It  is  very  fortunate  that 
I have  been  served  semi-hourly  luncheons.  My  nerves  could  never 
have  survived  this  day’s  happenings.  What  shall  I do  ? I must 
have  a rational  conversation  with  Kitty’s  cousin.  I will  find  him; 
tell  him  that  I have  proposed  to  Kitty,  and  then  perhaps  he  wil 
listen  to  me.  (Exit.) 


MR.  BOB 


31 


( Enter  Katherine  and  Marion,  laughing.) 

Kath.  I wish  you  could  have  heard  it.  Philip  indignant  be* 
cause  Mr.  Bob  had  not  proposed  to  me. 

Mar.  But  what  will  Mr.  Brown  think  of  all  this  ? 

Kath.  Everything  will  be  explained  to  him  in  time.  You  see, 
he  won’t  go  until  he  has  seen  Philip.  If  we  can  keep  Philip  in  the 
dark  about  it  until  after  you  win  the  race,  it  will  be  all  right. 
Philip  will  forgive  everything  then. 

Mar.  But,  now  that  your  cousin  has  returned,  he  will  wish  to 
sail  his  boat  himself. 

Kath.  No;  because  he  has  given  his  promise  to  Aunt  Becky. 
He  gave  up  the  race  if  she  would  give  up  the  cats  ; so  you  see  how 
important  it  is  that  Mr.  Brown’s  real  identity  should  not  be  known 
at  present.  If  Philip  found  it  out,  he  would  surely  enter  the  race, 
and  that  would  spoil  all  our  fun. 

Mar.  I do  hope  I shall  succeed.  Skipper  Rawson  was  de- 
lighted with  the  idea  of  helping  me. 

( Enter  Miss  Becky,  c.) 

Miss  B.  Have  you  seen  Philip  ? 

Kath.  He  was  here  only  a few  moments  ago,  talking  to  Mr. 
Bob. 

Miss  B.  Talking  to  Marion? 

Kath.  Why,  no,  Aunt  Becky.  Have  you  forgotten  our  latest 
scheme  ? 

Miss  B.  To  be  sure.  My  head  is  so  tired,  it  is  a wonder  that  I 
can  think  of  anything. 

Kath.  ( leads  her  to  arm-chair ).  Sit  down  and  take  a nap,  Aunt 
Becky.  I will  close  all  the  doors  and  leave  you  to  yourself  a little 
while.  (Marion  and  Katherine  draw  portieres  at  door , c.) 
There ! You  can  have  a cosey  time,  steal  forty  winks  and  wake 
quite  refreshed.  (Katherine  and  Marion  exeunt .) 

Miss  B.  This  is  the  most  exciting  day  I have  had  for  years. 
( Takes  paper  frojn  pocket .)  I must  destroy  these  papers  at  once. 
Then  I shall  not  be  tempted  to  think  of  my  pet  scheme,  and  thus 
keep  my  promise  to  Philip.  {Yawns.)  Dear  me!  How  tired  I 
am  ! Only  think  of  Patty  smothering  those  cats  in  that  bag.  I 
wonder  they  were  not  killed.  {Yawns  ; finally  falls  asleep.) 

{Enter  Brown,  c.) 

Br.  I can’t  find  Mr.  Philip,  and  I have  been  disturbed  evei 
since  I gave  those  papers  to  the  old  lady.  She  may  not  be  per* 
fectly  right  in  her  mind,  and  might  be  tempted  to  destroy  them. 
I must  speak  with  her  nephew  before  leaving  the  house.  But  it 
won’t  do  until  this  mystery  is  cleared.  As  Mr.  Bob  it  won’t  do  to 
know  anything  about  private  papers.  {Co?nes  down  stage ; sees 
Miss  Becky.)  There  she  is  now,  and  by  Jove  ! the  very  papers 


32 


MR,  BOB. 


in  her  lap.  I must  have  them.  ( Goes  towards  her.)  She  h 
asleep.  Good  ! This  is  the  first  bit  of  luck  I have  had  to-day. 
She  must  not  suspect  that  I suspect  her.  How  can  I manage  it  ? 
{Crosses  to  table.  Takes  a sheet  of  paper  from  writing  materials 
on  table,  folds  it,  takes  papers  from  Miss  Becky,  and  replaces  them 
with  folded  paper.)  There,  my  conscience  will  be  at  rest,  and 
she  will  be  none  the  wiser.  This  day’s  business  will  prove  rather 
expensive  for  Miss  Luke  if  there  is  any  expenditure  of  time  charged 
to  her  account.  As  soon  as  I can  have  a reasonable  chat  with  the 
old  lady’s  nephew  I will  return  to  town.  There  seems  to  be  a 
rotary  movement  about  the  several  names  which  have  been  thrust 
upon  me.  First,  it  was  “ Mr.  Bob  ; ” then  “ Mr.  Saunders,”  “ Mr. 
Brown  the  architect,”  and  now  “ Mr.  Bob  ” again.  I must  get  awaj 
before  it  is  time  for  “ Mr.  Saunders”  to  reappear.  {Exit,  c.) 

{Enter  Patty,  r.,  with  sheet  of  paper;  does  not  see  Miss  Becky.) 

Pat.  Now  we  has  it  down  in  black  and  white.  {Makes  pro- 
found bow  ; reads  frotn  paper l) 

“ My  dear  Miss  Rebecca  Luke, 

“ Dear  Madam , — We  takes  our  pens  in  our  hands  to  write  you  as  how  we 
wishes  no  more  cats.  We  likes  you  and  we  has  a willingness  for  one  cat,  in  fact, 
we  rather  likes  one,  but  when  it  comes  to  twenty,  we  has  strong  objections.  Me 
and  the  cook  and  James,  not  counting  of  Jenkins,  who  has  objections,  but  objects 
to  a-saying  of  it.  {Dramatically.)  In  the  language  of  Shakespeare’s  Mr, 
Macduff,  we  cries, ‘ Hold ! Enough  ! ’ ” 

{Speaks.)  There ! I rather  think  that  will  touch  her  ladyship’s 
noble  heart,  and  I will  approach  her  with  courage,  knowing  as  how 
me  and  and  the  cook  and  James,  and  not  counting  of  Jenkins,  are 
in  the  right.  I will  approach  her  boldly.  {Discovers  Miss  Becky  ; 
wilts.)  Lor ! There  she  is  now.  I wonder  if  she  heard  me. 
{Resumes  courage.)  Why  should  I hesitate.  The  girl  what  hesi- 
tates never  gets  anywhere.  {Approaches  Miss  Becky;  speaki 
softly.)  Miss  Becky.  She  sleeps.  {Dramatically .)  Sleep  ax 
fair  maid.  I would  disturb  thy  slumbers  not. 

{Enter  J enkins.) 

Pat.  {speaks  softly) . What  ho ! my  noble  Romeo.  Dost  thou 
love  me? 

Jenk.  You  knows  as  ’ow  I dotes  on  you,  Patty.  But  don’t  call 
me  Romeo,  Patty.  Call  me  Jenkins. 

Pat.  I calls  you  what  I please.  {Brings  him  down  stage ; 
points  to  Miss  Becky.)  Behold  ! 

Jenk.  Don’t  be  so  spasmodic,  Patty.  You  give  me  a chill. 

Pat.  Here  is  the  paper  you  won’t  sign.  You  must  put  it  in 
Miss  Becky’s  hand. 

Jenk.  No,  Patty.  That  would  be  beneath  the  dignity  of  a 
Jenkins.  I object 


MR.  BOB,  33 

Pat.  (with  dignity) . Wilt  thou  be  my  Romeo,  or  shall  I have 
another? 

Jenk.  But,  Patty  — 

Pat.  Hesitate  but  a moment  and  Mr.  Brown,  who  is  just  a-dy- 
ing  for  the  opportunity,  shall  have  the  love  you  would  cast  away. 

Jenk.  I’ll  do  it ; but  I says  — 

Pat.  (gives  him  paper) . Say  no  more.  Place  this  paper  in  that 
envelope. 

Jenk.  But,  Patty  — 

Pat.  Quick!  She  starts,  she  moves  — 

Jenk.  (places  paper  in  envelope ).  There!  I ’opes  as  now  you 
are  satisfied. 

Pat.  I am.  (Draws  Jenkins  down  front.)  Jenkins,  it’s  time 
we  objected  to  so  many  cats ; for  I heard  Miss  Katherine  tell  her 
friend  that  Miss  Becky  had  cats  on  the  brain. 

Jenk.  (crosses  to  Miss  Becky;  whispers ).  I don’t  see  them, 
Patty. 

Pat.  They  are  inside.  (Miss  Becky  stirs.)  She  is  waking 
up,  Jenkins.  Leave  the  room.  We  shall  be  discovered.  (Pushes 
Jenkins  toward  door , c.) 

Jenk.  But,  Patty,  that  tray  — 

Pat.  I will  bring  it.  Go  on.  Wait  for  me  in  the  pantry,  and 
we  will  have  another  rehearsal.  (Jenkins  exit.)  I hopes  the 
paper  won’t  hurt  Miss  Becky’s  feelings,  but  we  had  to  do  it. 

Jenk.  (appears  at  door , c.).  Juliet,  Juliet! 

Pat.  (raises  cup  from  tray).  “Romeo,  I come.  This  do  I 
drink  to  thee.”  (Drinks  coffee  and  exit  with  tray.) 

Miss  B.  (wakes  suddenly) . What  was  that  noise?  Some  one 
called.  Dear  me ! I must  have  fallen  asleep,  and  these  papers  in 
my  lap.  Philip  could  have  walked  in  upon  me  and  discovered 
them.  (Rises.) 

(Enter  Philip.) 

Phil.  Now,  what  shall  I do  with  Mr.  Bob?  I wonder  if  he  has 
proposed  to  Kitty  yet.  I should  like  to  drop  him  overboard.  The 
deep  blue  sea  would  be  the  best  place  for  him.  (Sees  Aunt 
Becky.)  Hallo!  Aunt  Becky.  What  are  you  doing  with  that 
official-looking  document? 

Miss  B.  I will  be  honest  with  you,  Philip.  They  are  plans  for 
die  house  which  my  architect  has  sent  me. 

Phil,  (astonished).  What  plans? 

Miss  B.  (embarrassed).  Before  our  compact,  I had  planned  to 
convert  the  upper  part  of  the  house  into  one  large  room  covered 
with  a glass  roof. 

Phil,  (laughs).  What  a crazy  scheme!  Let  me  see  the  papers. 

Miss  B.  No;  and  to  convince  you  that  I intend  to  keep  my 
part  of  the  contract,  I will  destroy  them.  (Tears  papers  and 
throws  them  in  waste-basket.)  There!  I have  put  temptation  out 
of  my  way. 


34 


MR.  BOB. 


Phil.  I am  proud  of  you ; and,  to  show  you  that  I appreciate 
your  sacrifice,  will  help  you  with  your  pet  scheme,  provided  you 
will  go  at  it  with  moderation. 

Miss  B.  My  dear  boy,  I certainly  will. 

(Katherine  and  Marion  enter  from  door , l.,  laughing ; come 
down  c. ; do  not  see  Philip,  who  turns  and  discovers  them.) 

Phil,  (surprised}.  Miss  Bryant! 

Mar.  Mr.  Royson!  I did  not  imagine  that  you  were  Kitty’s 
cousin.  ( They  shake  hands.) 

Phil.  When  did  you  arrive? 

Mar.  I came  from  town  this  morning.  {Looks  at  Kathe- 
rine.)  That  is,  I started  this  morning. 

Phil.  I see ; stopped  to  visit  on  the  way. 

Mar.  Y-yes. 

Kath.  This  is  a revelation  to  me.  I had  promised  myself  the 
pleasure  of  introducing  you. 

Phil.  Too  late,  Katherine.  We  met  last  summer.  (Miss 
Becky  is  seated  at  table  working.) 

Kath.  Why,  Marion!  You  never  told  me. 

Mar.  Never  dreamed  that  I was  meeting  your  Mr.  Royson. 

Phil.  This  young  lady  defeated  me  in  the  race. 

Mar.  It  was  only  a small  victory.  We  came  in  almost  together. 

Kath.  (at  door , c.).  The  boats  are  ready  to  start.  We  must  be 
off. 

Phil.  The  race  will  be  such  a short  one  you  had  better  lose  no 
time.  It  is  only  out  to  the  buoy  and  back. 

Mar.  Won’t  you  join  us,  Mr.  Royson? 

Phil.  I wish  that  I might,  but  I am  under  compact,  you 
know. 

Kath.  We  have  been  invited  to  sail  in  the  race. 

Phil.  Good  luck  to  your  yacht. 

Mar.  We  may  be  the  winning  boat.  What  shall  you  give  as  a 
reward  ? 

Phil.  My  boat  as  a trophy. 

Mar.  Be  careful ; we  may  take  you  at  your  word.  Honor 
bright  ? 

Phil.  My  hand  upon  it. 

Mar.  Agreed.  ( Girls  exeunt  laughing.) 

Phil.  Gad  ! It’s  a mighty  hard  thing  to  give  up  that  race. 
(. Stands  at  door , C.) 

Miss  B.  ( crosses  to  Philip;  places  hand  upon  his  arm).  Don’t 
try  to  keep  your  promise.  Sail  your  boat. 

Phil.  No  ; I have  given  my  promise.  I won’t  weaken. 

Miss  B.  Shall  we  watch  them  ? 

Phil.  You  may,  but  I decline,  with  thanks.  ( Takes  chair.) 
You  shall  have  a seat  up  on  the  balcony.  {Exeunt  Miss  Becky 
and  Philip.) 


MR.  BOB. 


35 


{Enter  Patty.) 

Pat.  The  race  is  on.  Don’t  I wish  I was  in  one  of  the  boats! 
{At  door , c.)  I just  wish  me  and  Jenkins  could  go  out.  {Ar- 
ranges books  upon  table.')  Miss  Katherine  has  told  me  all  about 
her  friend;  and  Mr.  Philip  a-thinking  that  Mr.  Brown  is  the 
Mr.  Bob.  When  he  finds  it  out  it  will  be  worse  than  the  cats, 
I am  a-thinking.  We  hasn’t  had  so  much  fun  in  this  house  for 
weeks.  It  is  as  good  as  the  theatre. 

{Enter  Philip,  c.  ; crosses  to  entrance , c.) 

Phil.  They  seem  to  be  going  finely.  The  wind  is  just  right 
for  them.  {Comes  down ; sits  at  table ; takes  tip  newspaper.) 
Pshaw ! If  Kitty’s  Mr.  Bob  had  only  been  a decent  sort  of  chap 
he  might  have  helped  me  out.  I wonder  why  Kitty  never  told  me 
about  her  friend  Miss  Bryant.  I lost  my  heart  to  her  last  summer. 

Pat.  {at  door , c.).  The  boats  are  just  beautiful.  Don’t  you 
want  to  watch  the  race,  Mr.  Philip. 

Phil,  {very  cross).  No. 

Pat.  Don’t  you  want  to  see  it? 

Phil.  No. 

Pat.  {aside) . My  eyes  ! ain’t  he  cross  ; and  it’s  all  on  account  of 
cats,  {to  Philip.)  Lor!  sir,  they’s  just  beautiful.  There’s  one 
a-going  ahead  of  the  others. 

Phil.  What  did  you  expect  they  would  do?  All  sail  in  a line? 

Pat.  It’s  that  little  one  what  you  calls  a cat-boat. 

Phil.  ( rises , very  angry) . Don’t  you  say  cat  to  me. 

Pat.  {frightened ).  I begs  your  pardon,  sir.  1 hopes  as  how  I 
didn’t  offend  you. 

Phil.  Well,  you  did.  Leave  the  room. 

Pat.  I goes,  sir.  {Aside.)  He  must  have  Miss  Becky’s 
trouble,  — cats  on  the  brain.  {Exit.) 

Phil,  {seated;  resumes  reading).  This  house  is  completely  up- 
set. The  next  one  that  says  boat-race  to  me  shall  die. 

{Enter  Jenkins,  c.) 

Jenk.  The  race  is  on.  Don’t  you  sail  to-day,  Mr.  Philip? 

Phil,  {exasperated).  No;  nor  to-night. 

Jenk.  {at  door , c.).  Well,  sir,  excuse  me  for  saying  of  it,  but 
you  are  a-losing  of  a great  sight. 

Phil.  You  will  lose  something,  — your  place,  — if  you  don’t  stop 
talking  to  me. 

Jenk.  {with  digtiity).  I begs  your  pardon,  sir.  I meant  ncr> 
offence.  {Stands  at  entrance , c.) 

{Enter  Katherine,  c.) 

Kath.  I am  just  wild  with  excitement.  {Looks  out  of  door.) 
There  she  goes!  Isn’t  she  a beauty?  Oh,  if  Bob  will  only  win! 
{Sees  Philip;  comes  down.)  Why,  Philip  ! What  are  you  doing? 


36 


MR.  BOB. 


Phil.  Can’t  you  see  ? I am  reading. 

Kath.  Come  and  look  at  the  race.  The  boats  are  sailing 
finely. 

Phil.  I thought  you  were  to  be  in  it. 

Kath.  Bob  — I mean  Marion  — has  gone. 

Phil.  Can’t  you  keep  that  fellow  Bob  out  of  your  head  for  a 
moment?  Where  is  Mr.  Bob? 

Kath.  In  the  race. 

Phil.  Kitty,  I never  saw  such  a mean  specimen  of  a man. 

Kath.  I am  sorry  that  you  do  not  like  Bob.  I was  in  hopes 
that  you  would  become  warm  friends. 

Phil.  But  he  is  so  unattractive. 

Kath.  Of  course  Bob  isn’t  such  a fine-looking  fellow  as  you 
are  ; but  I am  satisfied. 

Phil.  So  it  seems.  I will  try  to  like  him  for  your  sake,  but  it 
will  be  hard  work. 

Kath.  (at  door,  c.).  There  is  a boat  ahead.  It  looks  like  yours, 
Philip. 

Phil.  Your  imagination  is  lively.  That  disappointed  craft  of 
mine  is  tugging  away  at  the  moorings  and  wondering  why  she  isn’t 
in  it. 

Kath.  Do  come  here. 

Phil.  And  see  some  other  boat  win  the  race?  Not  if  I know 
it. 

Kath.  Jenkins,  bring  me  a chair.  (Jenkins  brings  07ie  and  helps 
Katherine  to  mount  it.)  Two  boats  ahead.  The  others  are 
three  lengths  behind.  They  are  nearing  the  buoy.  One  boat  turns 
first  — no,  she  has  lost  in  making  a wider  turn,  and  the  white  star 
is  ahead.  See  how  desperate  is  the  one  behind.  She  plunges  into 
the  waves,  dashing  the  spray  over  the  bow.  Philip,  it  is  — I can 
see  Bob. 

Phil.  For  once  love’s  eyes  are  far  seeing.  They  are  generally 
supposed  to  be  blind. 

Kath.  Bob  is  lying  out  on  the  weather  rail. 

Phil,  (laughs).  Probably  white  as  a sheet,  and  hanging  over  it. 

Kath.  Bob’s  boat  is  gaining.  They  are  abreast  now.  Oh,  if 
she  will  only  win ! They  are  close  together ; the  two  boats  look 
like  one.  See,  the  sails  are  swung  off  to  starboard,  and  they  square 
away  for  the  finish. 

(Enter  Patty.) 

Pat.  O Mr.  Philip,  your  boat  is  a-winning  the  race. 

Phil.  Are  you  all  crazy?  (Goes  to  door , c. ; takes  glass  from 
Katherine.)  Gad  ! (Looks  again.)  Why,  it  is  my  boat. 

Kath.  And  she  is  ahead. 

Pat.  She’s  just  a-humming.  (Embraces  Jenkins.)  O Jen- 
kins ! — I means  Romeo. 

Phil.  Who  is  in  her?  ( Philip  stands  upon  the  back  ^Kath- 
erine’s chair.) 


MR.  BOB. 


37 


Kath.  Mr.  Bob,  of  course.  Now  they  are  making  the  run 
for  home.  Your  boat  leads  by  a length.  See  ! Look,  Philip,  it  is 
a straight  course  to  the  line.  She  has  crossed,  and  Bob  has  won  by 
two  lengths.  {Waves  handkerchief.')  Hurrah!  The  race  is  ours. 
Three  cheers  for  Mr.  Bob.  {Jumps  from  chair.) 

Phil.  Mr.  Bob  is  my  friend  for  life.  I must  find  him  at  once. 
{Makes  for  door,  c.) 

Kath.  {prevents  him).  Do  wait  until  the  boats  are  at  their 
moorings. 

Phil.  Indeed,  I won’t.  Gad!  I will  bring  back  Mr.  Bob  on 
my  shoulders.  {Exit.) 

Kath.  {laughing).  What  a picture  that  would  be,  and  wouldn’t 
Bob  be  pleased.  Philip  is  so  delighted  about  the  race,  he  will  for- 
give my  deception. 

{Enter  Aunt  Becky.) 

Kath.  {embracing  her).  Oh,  I am  so  happy,  Aunt  Becky!  It 
is  just  glorious. 

Miss  B.  Do  let  me  breathe.  What  is  it? 

Kath.  Philip’s  boat  has  won  the  race,  and  Bob  was  in  it. 

Miss  B.  Well,  I never!  Katherine,  I cannot  get  rid  of  Mr. 
Brown.  He  will  not  go  until  he  has  seen  Philip. 

Kath.  Have  patience ; we  shall  soon  be  able  to  explain  every- 
thing to  Philip. 

{Enter  Marion.) 

Kath.  Bob,  my  dear  boy,  I am  proud  of  you.  You  did  nobly. 

Mar.  Such  a success.  I am  proud  of  it.  Skipper  Rawson  and 
I have  planned  to  go  into  partnership. 

Kath.  You  will  be  voted  a member  of  the  club  immediately. 
Did  you  meet  Philip? 

Mar.  No;  I came  across  the  fields  to  avoid  everybody. 

Kath.  Philip  was  wild  with  joy,  and  has  gone  in  search  of  you. 

Mar.  Skipper  Rawson  has  promised  not  to  give  me  away. 

Kath.  It  won’t  do  to  deceive  Philip  any  longer.  {At  door , c.) 
Here  he  comes  now. 

Mar.  What  shall  I do?  Is  it  time  to  reveal  myself  in  my  true 
colors  ? 

Kath.  I have  it.  {Turns  arm-chair  facing  fireplace ; seats 
Marion.)  There!  You  must  remain  quiet  until  the  decisive 
moment. 

{Enter  Philip.) 

Phil.  It  is  true  my  boat  has  won,  but  Mr.  Bob,  evidently  over- 
come by  modesty,  has  mysteriously  disappeared.  {Looking  off , R.) 
Ah  ! there  you  are,  old  fellow.  {Goes  out  and  brings  in  Brown  on 
shoulder.)  I am  proud  of  you,  and  take  back  every  mean  thing  I 
have  said  about  you.  Three  cheers  for  Mr.  Bob  ! Rah  ! Rah  ! Rah ! 

-Br.  {astonished).  Thank  you.  {Loses  balance  and  slips  off 
Philip’s  shoulder.  Browns  floor.)  I came  down  — 


MR.  BOB. 


38 


PhIL,  And  I will  say,  44  Bless  you,  my  children,”  in  the  most 
approved  fashion. 

KaiNh.  What  are  you  talking  about,  Philip? 

Phil.,  (embraces  Katherine).  Your  Mr.  Bob  is  a hero,  Kitty. 
(Embraces  Miss  Becky.)  Your  new  nephew  will  do  you  proud* 
Aunt  Becky. 

Kath.  If  Mr.  Bob  is  a hero,  why  are  you  bestowing  so  much 
affection  uipon  Mr.  Brown  ? 

Phil,  (laughs').  No  more  bluff  for  me.  Don’t  you  suppose  I 
know  your  Mr.  Bob  when  I see  him  ? 

Kath.  But  really,  Philip,  you  are  mistaken. 

Phil.  Mistaken  ! Who  the  devil  are  you  then,  sir? 

Miss  B.  Gently,  Philip.  This  is  Mr.  Brown,  the  architect,  who 
came  to  see  me  to-day.  Katherine  and  I discovered  our  mistake 
just  in  time.  (Brown  during  this  tries  to  speak.) 

Phil.  What  do  you  mean,  sir,  by  passing  yourself  off  for  some 
one  else  ? Why  don’t  you  speak  ? 

" *Br.  (qidetly) . Thanks,  I would  like  to.  (To  Katherine.)  I 
am  not  Mr.  Saunders.  (To  Miss  Becky.)  I am  not  Mr.  Brown, 
architect.  (To  Philip  einphatically .)  I am  not  Mr.  Bob. 

Phil.  For  heaven’s  sake,  man,  who  are  you? 

Br.  I am  Mr.  Brown,  clerk  for  the  law  firm  of  Benson  & Ben- 
son, and  came  down  — 

Phil.  Why  didn’t  you  say  all  this  before? 

Br.  You  all  insisted  that  I was  some  one  else.  Now,  sir,  if  I 
may  be  allowed  to  tell  you  why  I came  down  I shall  consider  it  a 
great  favor.  I brought  with  me  important  papers  for  Miss  Luke  — 
the  missing  codicil. 

Miss  B.  Which  I destroyed.  (Goes  to  scrap-basket ; Patty 
enters.) 

Br.  I beg  pardon  ; but  fearing  that  the  lady  had  something  on 
her  mind  — 

Pat.  (aside  to  Brown).  It’s  cats,  sir. 

Br.  (to  Patty).  Go  away!  Finding  the  papers  in  her  lap, 
while  she  was  asleep  in  this  room,  I changed  them.  (Takes papers 
from  pocket  and  gives  them  to  Philip.)  Here  they  are,  sir. 

Miss  B.  What  did  I destroy  then? 

Pat.  If  you  please,  ma’am,  I put  the  paper  into  your  lap.  It 
was  to  say  as  how  me  and  the  cook  and  James,  not  counting  of 
Jenkins  who  has  objections,  but  objects  to  a-saying  of  it,  has  no 
willingness  for  so  many  cats. 

Miss  B.  I am  so  tired  of  this  confusion  I shall  be  glad  to  sign 
the  paper  myself. 

Phil.  My  dear  sir,  how  can  we  atone  to  you  for  this  mistake. 

(Jenkins  enters.) 

Br.  i ask  for  nothing,  sir,  only  to  be  allowed  to  depart. 

Jenk.  (at  door,  c.).  Dinner  is  served. 

Phil.  Have  dinner  with  us  before  you  go. 


jMR.  BOB. 


39 


vBr.  Thank  you,  no ; I need  nothing. 

Phil,  I hope  you  will  pardon  my  blunder  in  supposing  you  in 
love  with  my  cousin  Kitty.  Wait  a moment.  Some  explanation  is 
needed  here.  Is  Mr.  Bob  a myth? 

Kath.  ( leads  Philip  to  arm-chair} . Here  is  Mr.  Bob. 

Mar.  (laughing,  rises ).  Who  is  such  a weak  specimen  of  a 
man. 

Phil,  (astonished) . What  masquerading  is  this? 

Kath.  My  pet  name  for  Miss  Bryant  is  Bob.  You  took  it  for 
granted  that  my  friend  was  a man,  and  I have  had  some  fun  at 
your  expense. 

Phil.  And  you  let  me  make  a fool  of  myself  by  filling  her  room 
with  my  pipes  and  cigars.  Kitty,  I will  never  forgive  you. 

Kath.  (coaxingly),  Oh,  yes,  you  will,  for  Mr.  Bob  won  the 
race. 

Phil.  Not  Miss  Bryant? 

Mar.  Skipper  Rawson  was  my  right-hand  man.  I was  in  the 
winning  boat.  Do  I receive  my  reward? 

Phil.  Certainly,  only  there  is  so  much  that  goes  with  it.  Will 
you  take  it  all  ? 

Mar.  Of  course. 

Phil,  (laughs).  You  shall  have  it  all,  Captain  Bob.  My  yacht 
and  I have  sworn  never  to  be  separated. 

Mar.  (embarrassed) . Oh,  I understand. 

Phil.  Do  you  approve  ? 

Mar.  Hardly,  upon  so  short  an  acquaintance.  I will  be  satis- 
fied with  the  glory  of  winning,  and  leave  the  rest  to  you. 

Miss  B.  Well,  I never!  We  won’t  forget  this  day,  Mr.  Brown. 

Rr.  No  ; it  will  be  a red-letter  day  in  my  memory. 

Phil,  (holds  out  hand  to  Marion,  who  takes  it).  The  day  Mr. 
Bob  won  the  race. 

>Br.  The  day  I “ came  down”  — 

( Tableau , Jenkins  and  Patty  at  door , c. ; Brown  in  c.  of  stage ; 

Miss  Becky  in  arm-chair , r ; Katherine  behind  her j Philip 

and  Marion,  l.) 


QUICK  CURTAIN. 


Plays  for  Junior  High  Schools 


1 Sally  Lunn 
<|  Mr.  Bob 

J The  Man  from  Braiif» 

] A Box  of  Monkeys 

4 A Rice  Padding 
1 Class  Day 
J Chums 
4 An  Easy  Mark 
A Pa’s  New  Housekeeper 
Not  On  the  Program 


The  Private  Tutor  5 3 2 « 

Me  an’ Otis  542“ 

Up  to  Freddie  3 6 i#  " 

My  Cousin  Timmy  2 8 1 » 

Aunt  Abigail  and  the  Boys  9 2 1 « 

Caught  Out  9 2 1 “ 

Constantine  Pueblo  Joites  >0  4 2 « 

The  Cricket  On  the  Hearth  6 7 « 

The  Deacon’s  Second  Wife  6 6 2 •• 

Five  Fe^t  of  Love  5 6 1%  •• 

The  Hurdy  Gurdy  Girl  9 9 2 

Camp  Fidelity  Girls  t 11  2 « 

Carroty  Nell  15  1 " 

A Case  for  Sherlock  HohDSi  10  iyi  « 

The  Clancey  Kids  14  1 “ 

The  Happy  Day  7 % " 

1 Grant  You  Three  Wishes  14  yT  « 

Just  a Little  Mistake  1 5 % « 

The  Land  of  Night  18  1%  M 

Local  and  Long  Distance  1 6 ^ « 

The  Original  Two  Bits  7 « 

An  Outsider  7 « 

Oysters  6 « 

A Pan  of  Fudge  6 « 

A Peck  of  Trouble  5 % « 

A Precious  Pickle  7 “ 

The  First  National  Boot  9 2 1 « 

His  Father’s  Son  14  ij^  « 

The  Turn  In  the  Road  9 « 

A Half  Back’s  Interference  so  % * 

The  Revolving  Wedge  S314* 

Mose  11  10  « 

BAKER,  Hamilton  Place,  Boston  Mas& 


^OAAAAAAAAAaAAAAAAAAAAA^ 

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